When you hear the word "college", most likely what comes to mind is some variation on a scene from "Animal House"--perhaps Bluto chugging a bottle of Jack Daniels or the infamous toga, toga, toga party. Whether or not you choose to participate in this debauchery, college ought to be some of the best years of your life. Unfortunately, this much-anticipated reprieve from parents, curfews and any activity that begins before noon can present some new challenges that can easily turn dangerous.
For the first time in your life, you are truly your own boss, free to experiment with formerly taboo choices, such as having cheese fries for breakfast or doing keg stands (hopefully not at breakfast). For the sake of argument, I'm going to assume that 21 is a lofty goal for many as far as abstaining from drinking goes. My purpose here is not to sermonize about the evils of alcohol. Alcohol is not necessarily the enemy if you treat it right. Think of it more as an acquaintance who is going to be around for four years and is likely to steal your wallet if not watched closely. The truth is that you will likely encounter drinking on a regular basis, so I'd like to offer a realistic strategy, gleaned from my four years at the very place that inspired "Animal House," for keeping you and your friends happy, healthy and safe.
First of all, if you are unfamiliar with your limits, proceed with extreme caution. Better to be accused of being "lame" than to end up in the emergency room when your first experiment with drinking goes awry. If you are worried about impressing someone, know that if he or she is worth impressing, he or she will prefer the smart, witty you to the stumbling, slurring version of yourself. While alcohol may make you feel sexy, vomiting on your crush's shoes sure won't.
How to keep from crossing the thin line between hot and a hot mess? Everyone's body responds differently to alcohol, so start low and go slow. If you're a woman, you probably won't be able to keep up with your buddies who play defensive line.And that's OK. As a general principle, never drink alone, never go out alone and never go out without setting aside cab fare at the beginning of the night.Sure, when you're drunk, walking yourself home or getting a ride with someone you just met at a bar seems like a brilliant idea, but if you wouldn't let your little sister/brother/best friend do it, don't even think about it. I don't care how cute your new friend is. For one thing, he or she could be as drunk as you are. Or he or she could be a serial killer. Either way, bad idea.
Second, pay attention to what you're drinking. Shots, punch and drinks with ridiculous names are your one-way ticket to Regretsville. It's much harder to know your limit if you have no idea what you're drinking, and nothing is worse than realizing that the six Alabama Slammers you just took are all hitting you at the same time. If you have to, pull a Coyote Ugly and spit it out to save face.
Keep an eye on how much you drink. This sounds simple, but you'd be surprised, especially when you're out with friends. If you have to use two hands or lose count altogether, it's probably a good idea to start tapping the brakes. Alternatively, pick one of your friends (preferably not Frank the Tank) and stay one drink behind him/her. If he's not taking his shirt off and dancing on the bar, it's probably best you don't, either.
Work glasses of water into your rotation. This will remind you to slow down and will stave off some of an impending hangover. Another tip I like: Go to the bathroom every hour or so. If the floor is moving or the toilet paper's singing, it's probably time to call it a night.
All in all, college is a priceless opportunity for personal discovery and growth. With some common sense and newly found self-awareness, you can put your parents' minds at ease and have the best time of your life.
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