For those of you who don't read my awesome sports column every week - that is, for everyone except my dad and my editor - let me share the back story. At the beginning of last year, I made a set of bold football predictions and dubbed myself the "non-prophet" because it seemed like a funny play on words at the time.\nPeople called me crazy for making some of the predictions I made - North Carolina winning the ACC? Terrell Owens being selected as the NFL's Most Valuable Player?\nA few months later, I revisited my predictions to see just how many I got right. I think it totaled zero correct guesses. Nevertheless, I cheated and spun every prediction and result to make myself seem truly Delphian. I also expressed my love for Tony Romo.\nA year later, football season again cometh. The time is nigh for the non-prophet to once again make a fool of himself.\nBefore I get started, I'll remind you that I'm intentionally going for high-risk picks. In Commerce terms, the potential yield is "Dan looks like a genius" and the potential loss is "Dan still looks like an idiot."\nNow, on with the prophecies.\nPrediction 1: Jameel Sewell will be an All-ACC honorable mention.\nSo, the Virginia senior quarterback who most expect to start the season as a backup will end up one of the best players in the conference?\nYep! First, I think Vic Hall, the probable starter, will be benched by the fourth week. He hasn't played quarterback regularly in four years! Hall was great in high school, but the NCAA is a faster, tougher game.\nSewell, on the other hand, is seasoned and has ice in his veins. Anyone who watched the 2007 season can attest to this. He hasn't played in a year but he'll return quickly in tip-top shape. As far as I can see, he's the team's only hope for a winning season.\nAlso, Sewell is a great story. He drops out of Virginia because of bad grades. Then he studies his rear off, starts tutoring kids and claws his way back into Virginia for one more year of glory. He's also a stand-up, nice guy, so I'm rooting for him.\nPrediction 2: The Washington Redskins will win the Super Bowl.\nThere's no way I'm serious. I'm just a Skins fanboy, right?\nYeah, you got me. I don't really think this team can win big. The Redskins can't even scrape their way into the playoffs, even though their schedule is easy and every part of their roster is better than it was during their run to the playoffs in 2007.\nBut even if the Redskins somehow slink their way into the playoffs, there's no way they could make a dash for the Lombardi Trophy. Defense-first teams with hugely talented defensive lines never perform well in the playoffs.\nThe only exceptions to that pattern are the Steelers in 2008 and 2006, the Giants in 2007, the Buccaneers in 2002 and the Ravens in 2001. In general, though, teams that play good defense never compete for a title. Right?\nPrediction 3: N.C. State will win the ACC this year.\nSmart money is on the Hokies, with Georgia Tech and Florida State as the common fallback picks. My pet pick from last year, North Carolina, is even in the mix as far as most people are concerned.\nDon't count out the Wolfpack, though. N.C. State coach Tom O'Brien is now in his third year with the team and thus is working mostly with his own players. Remember, O'Brien is the guy who brought the once-woeful Boston College to a No. 1 national ranking for a week in 2005.\nThe Wolfpack also has one of the most promising and best returning quarterbacks in the league with sophomore Russell Wilson. Combine that with a mostly-intact O-line and seven returning starters on each side of the ball, and you have a team that could squeak out a berth in the ACC championship game.\nPrediction 4: Al Groh will be fired within one month of the final snap of the football season.\nThis prediction might be too likely to be included with the rest of these. Groh's not on thin ice; he's already treading icy waters, counting the days until he gets his pink slip and can move on to bigger and better things.\nAn unlikely bowl game would complicate the issue, but I don't think it's going to happen. Groh's a goner.\nPrediction 5: Chad Ocho Cinco will lead the league in receiving touchdowns?\nI thoroughly believe everyone's favorite wide receiver from Cincinnati, who hilariously changed his last name to a non-existent Spanish number last year - "ochenta y cinco" would be the accurate translation into 85 - will find the Midas touch now that his new name is on his jersey.\nThe runnerup will be Randy Moss, but there's nothing bold in that. Why fantasy football experts believe Larry Fitzgerald will put up bigger numbers than Moss with a healthy Tom Brady is beyond me.\nPrediction 5: I will make and lose a bet against the Dallas Cowboys.\nLast year, I made this same prediction, and it was the only one I got spot on. See, I hate the Cowboys and often put things more valuable than money - pride, dignity - on the line against them. And it seems the Redskins, who I always foolishly bet on, find a way to lose at least one game each year against the Cowboys, so I have a good feeling it will happen again.\nSo, just for future reference, even if I am obligated to state otherwise because of an unfortunate Redskins-Cowboys result: Tony Romo is not my homeboy.
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