We have reached the midway point of the professional football season, and NFL fans have learned a few things. If you've been marooned on Revis Island for the past two months and missed all the action, here's a quick synopsis. The Indianapolis Peyton Mannings and New England Brady Bunch are once again setting the pace. The one-win Dallas Cowboys train wreck has helped everyone in the nation's capital forget that Albert Haynesworth may actually be in better shape than Donovan McNabb. And with the Randy Moss mess and pictures of Brett's 'little Favre' perhaps still floating around on the Interwebs, the Minnesota Vikings are a Lake Minnetonka sex cruise away from rivaling the team of prison inmates in The Longest Yard for longest rap sheet in a single season. Where's Mike Tice when you need him?
On and off the field, the Minnesota Vikings collectively have made more bad decisions than Charlie Sheen in an episode of "Two and a Half Men," or in the comedy that is his real life. During the offseason, three wise Vikings visited Favre in his Mississippi retirement home - allegedly presenting their would-be Messiah with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh - and begged the quadragenarian quarterback to lead the team to the Promised Land. Favre finally agreed, but a bum ankle, dubious late-game decisions and an ongoing investigation about inappropriate conduct during his stint with the New York Jets undoubtedly had both parties regretting the decision. The Vikings seemingly reversed their fortunes by landing Randy Moss in a trade with the Patriots. Less than one month later, however, the move backfired and Vikings coach Brad Childress unexpectedly waived the mercurial wideout, allegedly because Moss insulted the food of a local restaurant that catered a Vikings post-practice meal. Recent statements by Vikings Owner Zygi Wilf suggest that the beleaguered Childress may soon receive a much-needed vacation - albeit one also that includes a severance package.
Players and Gus Tinucci, co-owner of the St. Paul restaurant, claimed Moss yelled, "What the [expletive]? Who ordered this crap? I wouldn't feed this to my dog." In a room full of hotshot NFL players, Moss' haughtiness not only stood out but also reportedly drew the ire of teammates. Favre's best efforts to get in Jenn Sterger's pants were bad in a sad kind of way; Randy's dog-food rant was just plain mean. I'm still not sure which was worse.
A few days after the Moss news broke, another professional athlete came under fire for his words. After the Boston Celtics beat up on the Detroit Pistons Oct. 2, Pistons forward Charlie Villanueva accused Boston's Kevin Garnett of calling Villanueva a "cancer patient" during the game. Villanueva, who suffers from a variation of alopecia areata - a skin disease that causes bodily hair loss - has no hair on his head. Garnett, a renowned trash-talker, responded that his comment was, "You are cancerous to your team and our league," and called the incident "a major miscommunication." As much as I can't respect Twitter - Villanueva's poorly chosen platform for disclosure - I'm siding with Villanueva on this one. Garnett is either one of the most eloquent and verbose trash-talkers in NBA history - hint: I've seen and heard KG play ... he's not - or he's full of it and trying to save face with a paragraph press statement scripted by the team's public relations guy. I'm going with the latter. Besides, Villanueva, who gives his time as a spokesman for the National Alopecia Areata Foundation, is clearly not your average athlete looking to stir up some post-game trouble at a nightclub. If he's tweeting about it within hours of hitting the showers, he was clearly hurt by it and likely is telling the truth.
Celtics coach Doc Rivers - who I am usually partial to via our shared Chi-town roots - dropped the ball with respect to the controversy. Rivers not only defended Garnett's version of the incident but also upbraided Villanueva for breaking an "unwritten rule" by taking the comments public. I realize Rivers has to toe the Celtics party line and protect his All-Star player. Yet at the same time, if Garnett did cross the line of human decency and only admitted it behind closed doors, I hope that Rivers still punished him appropriately. I understand that such disciplinary measures may have only been levied internally - as opposed to a two-game Twitter benching @KevinGarnett - but I just don't see it happening.
As much as Brad Childress has earned his status as the NFL's resident nincompoop, he has my respect for holding Randy Moss accountable for his actions, calling him out in front of the media and ultimately sending him on his surly way to the waiver wire. Childress clearly should have never taken a chance on Moss in the first place. Moss' surprise termination from the Twin Cities was as much about his perceived lack of in-game hustle and thinly-veiled critiques of the Vikings organization to media as it was about his tasteless criticism of the catered food.
Furthermore, Childress reeks of hypocrisy for his knee-jerk dismissal of Moss after treating the equally flawed Favre like infallible royalty during the past two years. But after the Randy Moss-less Vikings eked out a 27-24 overtime win against the Arizona Cardinals Sunday, Childress had to feel vindicated. At 3-5, the Vikings are still underachieving and still trail the Bears and Packers by two games in the NFC North. Childress could be out on the street by the time this column goes to print.
Nevertheless, Childress has finally reversed his fortunes and hopefully taught coaches an important lesson - it is up to coaches to reform or even remove a prima donna player for the team's benefit - even if it's unpopular. Childress is certainly no Tony Dungy, but it's a start, and here's hoping he lasts long enough to make Favre his next project.
As for KG and the Celtics? Let's just say that as much as I detested "The Decision," if the Heat and the Celtics meet in the NBA Playoffs - and the Bulls bow out early - I'm taking my fanhood to South Beach.
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