Boston College football coach Frank Spaziani sits across from a few reporters and me, chatting about his mustache.
"I'll give you an idea [of how long I've had it] without telling you how old I am," Spaziani says. "When I was in kindergarten the other kids laughed at me."
One reporter says he heard Spaziani was thinking of shaving it off, and asks about the thought process behind that decision.
"Budweiser was the thinking probably," he says.
It usually is.
The exchange is one of many lighthearted conversations at the ACC Football Kickoff, a two-day media extravaganza where reporters across the Atlantic coast congregate to feel more important than they actually are. For Spaziani and most of the conference's coaches, the weekend serves as little more than a good excuse for free golf at Pinehurst. For others, including a now-former Tar Heel coach, the weekend more closely parallels the "Budweiser Hot Seat."
Fifty-six reporters and 33 tape recorders surrounded Butch Davis's table, and the group wasted no time probing about his university's infamous NCAA violations. Throughout the interrogation, Davis emphasized his job security.
"I truly have always felt like I had the support of the administration, and that has been reassuring."
Apparently not. He also added:
"One thing I will tell you, obviously this is the most important issue that has faced the University of North Carolina and probably in many, many, many years and maybe even many decades," Davis said.
The most important issue to face the University of North Carolina in many decades? Not just the football team, but the biggest issue facing the school in general? In the span of "many decades" UNC has desegregated, become coeducational, seen double-digit university chancellors, produced a Nobel Prize winner and Michael Jordan. Butch Davis may be out of a job now, but at least he has perspective...
In fairness to Butch, though, NCAA recruiting violations begin to seem like the only thing that matters when you assemble around 300 reporters, 24 student-athletes, 12 coaches, one ACC commissioner, and football takes a backseat to vacated titles. Recruiting controversies are the new quarterback controversies, and illegal benefits become the new illegal formation.
Just ask Georgia Tech coach Paul Johnson. Minutes earlier, he was the one bombarded by reporters, while repeatedly stressing that he was moving forward after Tech was slammed with NCAA violations. One particularly persistent reporter was not convinced.
The reporter asked, "Didn't the player thing happen on your watch?"
Johnson responded, "What player thing?"
"The illegal benefits."
"I don't know, did they ever prove it?"
"Didn't the NCAA say you were in the situation?"
"I don't know, you'd have to look at the report."
"You didn't look at the report?"
"No, I said you'd have to look at the report."
"Didn't you think, 'I better monitor my players better?'"
"It doesn't matter what I think."
"What do you take away from this, if anything?"
"I take away that I'm going to move on, how about you?"
"So you learned nothing? It didn't teach you anything about how to deal with players or agents?"
"Evidently not."
Another reporter asks about whether Georgia Tech Athletic Director Dan Radakovich should be held culpable, and Johnson admits, "In [Radakovich's] mind, he doesn't feel like he did anything wrong." Everyone's favorite reporter then interrupts with, "What about in your mind?" Paul Johnson dismisses him with a glare and a "next question."
Not one to be deterred, though, the reporter asks, "It seems like the NCAA was mad at the school and how the school handled the investigation. Do you get that impression? ... They were pissed off at you guys for how obstructuous [sic] you were?"
"I don't think I obstructed anybody."
"According to them, the school was being obstructuous [sic], the administration obstructuous [sic]. Do you get the impression it was more of that as the actual problem?"
"You'd have to ask them, I have no idea about it."
At this point, I'm waiting for Paul Johnson to go Jack Nicholson on this guy and drop a "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!" Instead, the school's "obstructuous" sports information director intervenes and suddenly we're talking about Georgia Tech's new practice facility.
And thus, Paul Johnson takes away from the recruiting scandals that he's moving on. As a fan, I wish I could do the same.
I'm tired of hearing about Demaryius Thomas's clothing and Terrelle Pryor's tattoos. I'm sick of trying to figure out whether Miami, Auburn, Alabama or Southern Cal has the more sickening boosters. I'd be perfectly fine with talking less about how many parking tickets UNC players get, and more about how Virginia can kick their butts.
But another part of me knows that ignoring the problem will not make it go away. Butch Davis thought using hyperbole would help and was evidently wrong. ACC Commissioner John Swofford hopes that multiyear scholarships will help, and I hope he's right. Maybe more than anything, though, transparency will change the college football culture. For years, something has been wrong with the sport as agents, players, coaches and administrators interacted behind closed doors. Maybe it's time to open that door, and maybe we have to look back before we can move forward. Maybe we need to talk about players with money before we can get back to talking about coaches with mustaches.
Even if we can't handle the truth, we at least deserve it.
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