You’ve seen it: a bus almost running over a hypnotized girl blindly walking across McCormick Road, her eyes glued down to her phone’s LCD screen, fingers swiftly tapping away. Or the hardly-stealthy student pushing his chin too far down to his chest, with his arms squeezed under the table, as his strict TA is writing something on the whiteboard. Students risk life, limb and GPA all for a little SMS.
Too often we hear complaints bemoaning our age group’s unwillingness and inability to have significant face-to-face interactions, with iPhones and technology typically — and justifiably — serving as the scapegoat for our supposed deficiency. Admittedly, such a gripe may prove true. But, like any well-practiced act, texting has grown past a mere alternative method of interaction. Though we may be witnessing a texting epidemic, I will stand by one thing: we are getting damn good at it.
In the midst of this communications renaissance, it’s convenient to compare a good texting conversation to a game of chess. Inherent in our generation’s preferred mode of communication is strategy, deception and timing. First, we find the all-important initial move. The first one to break the virtual barrier, this salutatory message draws the line between who texted whom, a distinction as crucial as it can be controversial.
Like the sacrificial pawns on the black and white board, subsequent filler texts fly into the digital medium with little hesitation. Postponing the inevitable substance of conversation, and characteristically containing a hideous amount of “Haha,” “What’s good?” and “How’ve you been?” texts, these teaser bits of conversation seem mostly an effort to dance around the question, “who will concede first?”
Soon enough, though, someone bites: “What are you up to tonight?”
Houston, we have liftoff.
In asking this question, our interested texter has handed away the torch to his partner — putting him or her in position of power. With his opponent’s queen now out of place, the social guru on the other side of the conversation has his fair share of options. He could, of course, kindly divulge whatever activities he has planned for the night. Or, perhaps he could make his friend sweat and wait for a few minutes before responding. For our readers with iMessage, a read receipt makes this option a true low blow.
It being Friday afternoon, chances are both parties are still figuring out what they are “up to tonight.” But already in a position of power, the receiver would prove foolish to concede his lack of social know-how with a wasteful “idk.” Luckily, there’s an alternative that makes obvious the true beauty of the faceless interaction: the bluff.
Maybe one can feverishly social network among other friends in order to scrape up the least bit of a plan, or perhaps scrounge up a party or two to name drop, all in time to respond in a non-suspicious time to your awaiting friend. More likely, with that certain number of “other friends” limited, one will turn to deception. In order to fish out information while not appearing desperate, one can play it safe with an, “I’ve heard of a few things, haven’t decided yet,” ending with the up-for-interpretation and ever-innocent “u?”
Note: for those strict followers of the Honor Code, often times one can rest assured those “few things” include eating food and watching Netflix, laying in bed and watching Netflix or eating food while laying in bed and watching Netflix.
Unlike face-to-face conversations, texting can continue at the convenience of either party involved. The real world doesn’t allot you an unlimited amount of minutes to think of the perfect comeback. If you’re bored, you can text whomever you want about whatever you want. With your social group at your fingertips, you’re granted multiple avenues of ways to pursue social contact and interactions with your friends.
I’m a huge fan of texting. It really does make life easier for all parties involved. Yet although our SMS obsession may have evolved into an art form, we must still remember that literature is literature, and nothing written substitutes for real life. At some point, it’s better to enjoy those “few things” together.
Aidan’s column runs biweekly Fridays. He can be reached at a.cochrane@cavalierdaily.com.
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