Dear Rotunda,
It’s been indescribably painful to be without you for this long.
Since you’ve been gone, I’ve had to follow random Instagram accounts to make up for my incredibly dull feed. Unfortunately, no one Instagrams your tired, weathered scaffolding and I am left scrolling through the same pictures I saw yesterday. Yes, I could do something else with my time, but I would rather scroll with the hope of one day seeing your beautiful countenance smiling at me from my screen.
Without your steps to turn into a pseudo-ski slope, what will the ski team do when it snows? Will they go to Wintergreen and keep lying to themselves that the glorified hills of Virginia are satisfying enough for the season? How will we even know the ski team exists if we don’t see their 10-second runs down your steps during snow days?
Rotunda, how can I go on unable to watch people streak from your steps when a night takes a turn for the dull? To whom can I yell, “My grandma runs faster than that!” if not to a streaker at the end of the pack? My prized possession from first year is a man’s forgotten boxers from a fateful night of streaking. For a school full of traditions, I am being wrongfully deprived of creating my own tradition — snatching a streaking man’s boxers every year.
How do you expect me to see anyone besides students without the magnetic draw of your radiant bricks and pillars? People near and far came to see you in your prime — but not anymore. Will the magical man who paints your details with such grace on canvas be set up on the Lawn while you are covered with construction materials? I think not.
And have you noticed the lack of painfully posed sorority photoshoots this semester? That’s because you’re not around. The new srat stars will have to settle for Old Cabell — just kidding, that’s gone too.
Obviously I haven’t done my work all year, as I haven’t been able to study in your stately halls. It’s not easy studying in Alderman when I know I could be somewhere far more scenic. If lazy, old me is going to study, I should do it right — in your Dome Room.
Rotunda Sing has been reduced to “Old Cabell Sing” and that just didn’t cut it. I worry for the first years who won’t experience a cappella groups the same way I did. They certainly didn’t have as clear a view of the groups as they would have from your beautiful steps. How could these newcomers know which AVP man looks the best shirtless? How could they know which Hullabahoo’s robe they wanted to slyly snatch? And how could they know which group has won the most awards if they didn’t hear the Sils announce it?
Last — but certainly not least — when we stand on your steps, it is the closest to a time machine we will ever get. Since March of 1825, when the inaugural first-years arrived on Grounds, little has changed on the Lawn. Standing on your steps is a glimpse into the past, as every generation of students and faculty that came before us took in the same views from a different time. If you are convinced by nothing else, this should be reason enough for you to come back soon.
Avery’s column runs biweekly Wednesdays. She can be reached at a.moyler@cavalierdaily.com.
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