It’s March, which means we are almost at the “windmill stage” of Peter’s season of “The Bachelor.” At this point, the premise of the show has shifted from “Who will the lead fall in love with?” to “Which contestant can rack up the most Instagram followers and #SponCon by the season finale?” Well, this year the claims of “She’s not here for the right reasons” have expanded all the way onto TikTok. Although the contestants have been criticized for being jailbait, they are practically boomers compared to the average TikTok-er. Although their Instagram games are strong, their TikToks are definitely hit or miss. Not to worry, though. I’ve taken it upon myself to round up the TikToks of all the girls I can find and ranking them from best to worst.
- Mykenna (@mykennajean)
Mykenna really did something here. As a fashion blogger, it’s no surprise that her page features a ton of fashion videos. However, her signature “wine dancing” videos are what earned her a spot at the top of this list. This girl can dance, and her steadiness is impressive. Somehow, she makes liking wine as a personality trait cute, and I am here for it! She’s on top of TikTok trends, doesn’t take herself too seriously and looks fabulous while doing it.
- Alayah (@alayahbenavidez)
Personally, I found Alayah SO annoying this season. I respect her hustle of manipulating her way to the top, but she couldn’t even do it as well as Victoria F. Her TikTok, on the other hand, is actually pretty good. Unlike most of these girls who stick with the most basic content possible, she also does a lot of comedy and lip-syncing videos that I will give a solid three out of five rating. Even though the whole Bachelor thing didn’t work out, I’m glad that she can pursue her dream of being a 24-year-old TikTok star!
- Madison (@madiprew)
I don’t have too much to say about Madison’s TikTok, but then again I don’t have too much to say about Madison as a whole. She doesn’t get a whole lot of screen time (at least she didn’t until she announced she was a virgin), and it’s clear why. Her page has four videos of her doing viral TikTok dances and two of her playing basketball. If her account was an ice cream, it would be Halo Top. It’s fine, but just not good enough to make me want more.
- Hannah Ann (@hannahannsluss)
Oh Hannah. Poor, sweet Hannah. She only has four videos up on the platform, so maybe some of the cringe is due to her lack of experience, but I have never seen something so not-funny in my life. Let me give you a play-by-play of the worst one, so you don’t have to give her more views or waste 15 seconds of your life. It starts with her in a grocery store, in which she states “Since apparently I’m a child…” and then proceeds to skip around picking up childhood snacks. She closes the video with a quirky, “Who am I kidding I’m just here for some champagne.” This would work for Mykenna, but for Hannah Ann, it just seems like she’s grabbing at anything she can to try to find a personality trait.
Honorable Mention — Tyler Cameron (@tylerjcameron3)
Like most of the people on this list, his TikTok is pretty bland. It’s hard to deny how hot he is though, and he has a lot of shirtless videos, so do with that what you will.
Which contestant would you like to see make a TikTok? Sound off in the comments. And who knows? Maybe if they get a good enough sponsorship they’ll end up making one.
Katie McCracken is a Humor Columnist for The Cavalier Daily. She can be reached at email@example.com