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Surviving the Final Trenches — A Guide to Finding Laughter Amid the Chaos

These aspects of finals season will keep you sane — maybe

Have you ever camped out in Clemons Library thinking you were going to get work done but were instead initiated into “Social Clem Hours?”
Have you ever camped out in Clemons Library thinking you were going to get work done but were instead initiated into “Social Clem Hours?”

Ah, finals season — that delightful time of year when sleep becomes a distant memory, caffeine runs through your veins like a second circulatory system, and the library feels like your second home. While it may seem like a never-ending battle, there are some surprisingly funny things to look forward to while you're deep in the trenches of finals fiasco madness.

The "Study Group" Shenanigans 

Have you ever camped out in Clemons Library thinking you were going to get work done but were instead initiated into “Social Clem Hours?” Study groups during finals can sometimes feel like a cross between a comedy show and a soap opera — pens, food wrappers and the will to study flying around, yells and screams as well as over the top simply crazy dramatics. There is always that one person who insists on reading their notes aloud, as if reciting a Shakespearean soliloquy will magically improve your understanding of calculus. 

The Overdramatic Procrastination Rituals

Procrastination during finals season becomes an art in and of itself. Suddenly, cleaning your room, organizing your sock drawer and binging a TV show are absolutely essential and must be completed before you tackle your studies. Not just that, but you also must have lunch, a catch up coffee, or a debrief chit chat with everyone that you haven’t seen in the past three days. It's like your brain knows that you will be at your most productive in regards to everything except schoolwork when you're under a time crunch. 

The "Reward Stage" Extravaganza

After hours of sitting in front of your computer or notebook, you reach the much-anticipated "reward stage." You’ve been taking 20 minute breaks for every two minutes of studying, but it doesn’t matter how much work you actually accomplished —- you deserve a treat! Reward yourself with a snack — chips with a side of guilt. Because, let’s face it, you actually have not done any work at all. But hey, you've earned it, right? Whether you will ace your exams or barely survive, this is your moment of indulgence.

The Delirious Late-Night Realizations

As the clock ticks past 2 a.m., your brain enters a twilight zone where everything seems absurdly hilarious and unreal. You find yourself laughing uncontrollably at the strangest social media posts. In the harsh light of day, they might be deemed ordinary, but at this hour, they are comedic gold. That cat video you've seen a thousand times? It's now a masterpiece of feline slapstick humor. Or even funny words like “brouhaha”, “sozzled” or “bumbershoot.” You will catch yourself giggling at the sheer quirkiness of language and wonder if they were invented by a secret society of linguists with a flair for the absurd. Who even came up with “mitochondria?” Embrace these moments of late-night delirium, for they are the gems of finals season.

The Post-Final Comedown

Finally, when you emerge from the trenches victorious — or at least semi-conscious —  you'll have a newfound appreciation for the little things in life. Sunlight, a full night's sleep, and maybe even the ability to hold a conversation without mentioning your study woes will have you jumping for joy. You'll look back at your finals escapades and realize that, in the midst of the chaos, you found moments of humor and camaraderie that made it all worthwhile.

So, my fellow warriors or victims of academia, as you gear up for another semester after break, remember that even in the most challenging of times, there's always room for laughter. Embrace the quirks and absurdities of the season, and who knows, you might just come out of it with some hilarious stories to tell. Good luck, and may the scantrons be ever in your favor!

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