When I say “I want to go back to first year,” it’s really just another way for me to express that I am feeling old — and by old, I mean ancient.
My friends and I have been jokingly referred to as “unc” by underclassmen more times than I would like to admit. And yes, I know that I’m younger than the current fourth-years, but still, I can’t stop looking at the first-years and wishing I could go back and do it over again. If you’re a first-year student thinking college isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, just know that before too long, you’re going to look back on this time as “the good old days.”
I remember my first real sense of awe of being a student at the University like it was yesterday. It struck me towards the beginning of the fall semester of first year as I was walking home past the Rotunda one night. Whatever I had been expecting, it certainly wasn’t to be absolutely jumpscared by a group of giggling, naked people sprinting up and down the grassy Lawn.
Now, as I’ve grown accustomed to the notorious tradition of streaking the Lawn and have even once done it myself, that initial amazement at participating in these rites of passage has not faded. Still, what I wouldn’t give to go back and see what my face looked like upon my first sighting of this tradition in action!
I never would’ve expected that I’d be getting sentimental about people running naked, but that is truly the nostalgic attitude that embodies being a third-year. Nowadays, nearly everything about being a student at the University seems to be attached to a bittersweet emotion.
Now, I’m not crazy — I don’t miss every single aspect of being a first-year. In fact, I have completely blocked out daily meals at the dining halls, as I don’t wish to eat a half-burnt slice of Newcomb Hall pizza ever again. I also cringe at the thought of the 25-minute journey from the Corner to the dorms after a night out, and don’t even get me started on the chaotic and unreliable bus system.
Still, there is some type of magic that comes with the unknown that makes the first year of college so special — even if I spent far too much time wishing I had all the answers.
Exhibit A — throughout my first few weeks in college, I was endlessly eager to memorize where all my academic buildings were, to know the expansive maze that is Grounds like the back of my hand. While in the moment, being unfamiliar with Grounds was stressful and consisted of more than a few instances of being late to class, I now find it bittersweet that I know immediately where to go for nearly every building. There is no longer a need for me to practice my walk to class or pull up Google Maps to help me find the way.
While this may seem easier and less stressful, it somehow makes each start of the semester less exciting. Oddly enough, I’ve realized that I would rather continue stepping outside my comfort zone by venturing to a new part of Grounds, even if that means there is a bit more chaos and a few side quests thrown in. I can’t help but smile when I see a younger student ask for directions to one of my favorite buildings — ahem, the Contemplative Commons — and I know the sense of amazement they’re about to experience when they gaze out onto the central courtyard, roof gardens and quaint pond.
Exhibit B — I miss that sense of wonder I felt while experiencing University traditions for the first time. I cherish the memory of my first Lighting of the Lawn, remembering how it felt to watch the University community come together to celebrate the holidays, sip hot chocolate and cheer on the University’s many talented musical groups. And of course, there is no better way to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day than a front-row seat at the Run of the Gingers. Xyz In my inaugural attendance of these occasions, I was in pure awe of how special the university I get to attend is — which my hundreds of photos can attest to.
Exhibit C — I also reflect on the admiration I felt toward upperclassmen during my first two years of college. Being able to have role models to guide you along your journey at the University is such a wonderful feeling. I appreciated the array of valuable advice, from navigating a future career to parsing the housing crisis, that my upperclassmen friends would share. Now, as a third year, the roles have shifted, and I am now the one who is supposed to provide wisdom and guidance. While this has its perks, it certainly has made me feel old — and reminded me to be on my best behavior. Fortunately, I still have the fourth-years to look up to, but I still sometimes miss the days when I was the baby of the group.
Alas, let this be a message to every underclassman. Soak in the unknown parts of college and relish in the act of discovering, because one day, it will all become discovered — and that’s a whole lot less exciting. One day, you, too, will become part of the ancient and “unc” population, and like me, you’ll want to relive your younger years at the University all over again.