This is the dark power of fraternities
Over thirty years ago, when I was a new student at the University, I went out to lunch with a young man I’d dated a few times, with the intention of breaking things off. (This was back in the days when even a short and unserious relationship required a formal exit interview.) He was a very nice guy, and popular — he belonged to a big fraternity on campus — and although he seemed disappointed, he wasn’t in any way crushed. But at the end of the lunch, he did something I never forgot. He reached across the table, grabbed my hand and said I had to promise him something: that I would never, under any circumstances go upstairs alone at a fraternity house. Yes of course, I said, and tried to change the subject — I was young! I knew everything. “No,” he said sharply. I needed to listen to him. This was important.