HUMOR: Shout outs
Shout out to taxi drivers who tell you stories about eating iguanas to survive in Khmer Rouge Cambodia while they drive you to the airport. You are a garden of life experience and I am but an aphid gnawing on your leaves.
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Shout out to taxi drivers who tell you stories about eating iguanas to survive in Khmer Rouge Cambodia while they drive you to the airport. You are a garden of life experience and I am but an aphid gnawing on your leaves.
As soon as I heard the door open, I slammed my laptop shut with such panicked speed the only reasonable explanation could be that I had been watching two adults have consensual sex. In fact, I had been watching a fan-made music video for Andrew Jackson Jihad. If you want to reread that and imagine an embarrassed dog going “Woof,” by all means proceed.
“Did you bury Elvis?”
Court aggressively from afar, like a medieval knight or a guy in a 1980s film. At first, your love’s transfer to another middle school will seem tragic. But fear not, this actually enhances your methods of seduction. Use your friend who goes to his school to deliver mix CDs and clues to semi-elaborate games that end in in you asking for his email address.