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(06/21/17 3:11am)
It’s weird how much you take home from the University when you leave for the summer. By “you” I mean me and my stuff, of course, and my mom loves to throw most of it in the trash. She even threw out my bedspread! “Two years of dorm life is enough,” she said. As for someone who never lived in a dorm, I think her perception of “dorm life” relies on pop culture and my more interesting sister. Thus my bedspread, according to sources like “22 Jump Street,” must be soaked with bodily and alcoholic fluids. It’s not. I know — how wasteful to toss it then! I raised the same objection when she grabbed my sheets. Always the sympathetic listener, she placed them on top of the trash can instead of in it.
(06/01/17 3:57am)
I always feel mixed up when I come home. I drive two hours into a whole new world of Northern Virginia. There are strange sights like people outside the age range of 18 to 24. It’s a whole different lifestyle too. Even though I do a lot of the same activities it all just feels so different. Let me give you some examples.
(04/25/17 4:30am)
Dear John of Senior Year,
(04/12/17 5:23am)
You’re not very good at going out, John. Don’t worry, there’s no shame in it. It’s admirable that you keep trying, cute even. What is it, eight attempts? That’s not bad for someone without a fake. I know your routine too. You brush, floss and mouthwash in that exact order. Then you borrow your friend’s shirt because your Target brand just won’t cut it this time. This time you need the good stuff. The Aéropostale. You look in the mirror and convince yourself that this is going to be the night. You could kiss someone. People do that when they’re out. You could be like those people.
(03/28/17 4:35am)
I’m a bit of a slow learner. I didn’t learn how to ride a bike until the fourth grade. I didn’t really do sports or like, exercise, until high school, and I didn’t get my driver’s license until I was 18. I’m also, as most critics would say, “pathetically inexperienced” in the realm of romance.
(03/14/17 4:48am)
I’ve never been to Trinity Irish Pub before. But I turn 21 this summer and I’m looking forward to entering the establishment for the first time when I come back. Based on the accounts of my friends, I think it’ll go something like this: