Lucie Lyon


Five nicknames worse than 'Four Eyes'

Historians believe this nickname has been in use since the time of cavemen, and many of the bespectacled among us have no doubt been teased with this brutal nomenclature.

When forgetting to feed the neighbor’s cats

All of us know what it’s like to have neighbors. They always seem to want something from you — and nine times out of 10, what they want is for you to feed their pesky felines when they’re out of town.

A formal apology for opening that bag of Doritos

Dear classmates (and Prof. Johnson), Due to the events of yesterday afternoon at 0300 hours on the second floor of New Cabell, I find it important I write this letter. I would like to start off by saying that I did not anticipate that the bag of chips would put up such a fight or make so much noise when I tried to open it.