Last week I strolled into a book store, waded through oncoming traffic, brushed aside the snide remarks thrown my way by the hecklers who caught me glancing at Better Homes and Gardens and finally reached my destination: the sports section.
Upon arriving in paradise, however, I stumbled upon the following "great" reads: "The Idiot's Guide to Football," "The Idiot's Guide to Tetherball" and "The Idiot's Guide to Anything and Everything that Moves."
There was one glaring omission, though: "The Idiot's Guide to Being a Fan," whose absence on the bookshelf shocked me.
It shouldn't have. The more I think about it, overly-raucous, obsessive fans are rewriting that book and redefining the word lunacy all the time.
I'm a big fan of fans and I'll defend them to the death. Nothing makes my spine tingle quite like 101,500 zealous football addicts erupting in unison at The Big House in Ann Arbor when Michigan charges out of the locker room and onto the field to the playing of "Hail to the Victors." Just when sports appear hopeless, moments like that bring me back.
But there's a fine line between fandom and fandemonium, and after several incidents over the past few months, it appears that a few American aficionados have crossed it.
Exhibit A: Earlier this year, as Tiger Woods prepared to tee off at the Western Open, a drunken member of the gallery belched repeated profanities in his direction. When police confronted the man, he resisted arrest and was wrestled to the ground. The cops discovered a loaded pistol in his back pocket.
Exhibit B: Benedict, I mean, J.D. Drew, of the St. Louis Cardinals made a return visit to Philadelphia with the Cards this summer after originally being drafted by the Phillies but refusing to sign with them. Sure, the Philadelphia fans have a God-given right to be enraged, to be downright mad, to boo and hiss and scream, but not to throw batteries at Drew. These are the same fans who mercilessly ragged on Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, yet threw nothing. Drew was not quite so fortunate.
Exhibit C: Houston Astro Bill Spiers stood in right field when a Milwaukee Brewers fan hurdled the railing, hopped on the field and tackled Spiers during the middle of the game. The fan claimed he mistook Spiers for Brewer outfielder Jeromy Burnitz, who he wanted to give him a piggyback ride. No joke, and certainly not a funny one. A plea of temporary insanity might fly, though.
Exhibit D: Just last week, a spectator at Mile High Stadium in Denver pelted Broncos cornerback Dale Carter in the eye with a metal projectile after the Broncos lost to the Jets. Trainers initially thought Carter may have fractured his orbital bone, and he still is experiencing blurred vision.
Fan violence is most notorious in Europe and South America, usually involving soccer. In 1994, a Colombian footballer who scored a goal against his own team in a World Cup game was gunned down in his homeland just days later. In the Sheffield, England, massacre of 1989, riotous anarchy claimed the lives of 94 soccer fans.
It can't happen to us. We're immune to violence in our games, right? After all, these acts are occurring in far-off places like Argentina and England, Brazil and ... Milwaukee, Greece and ... Philadelphia.
Charlottesville, too. In last year's N.C. State football game, a fan launched an unopened water bottle in the direction of an official who many believed unfairly flagged the Cavs for pass interference. It found its mark, and the side judge slumped to the ground in pain.
Trusting fans is essential. The next-to-last thing I want to see is the fans stripped of their ability to be just that: Blood curdling, howling, face painting and fire breathing fans. But the last thing I want to see is a player get hurt or killed, and we're coming awfully close.
Strict enforcement is needed. At every sports venue across the country, a fan passes by the same sign: "Warning, no flash photography or firearms."
Super - now actually enforce it. Bring in metal detectors and meticulously check them ... for the firearms, that is.
On several occasions I've been verbally confronted for bringing an unopened Coke from home to the arena. So what?
What if the person standing behind me in line, or sitting beside my friends and family at a game is carrying a weapon? Would you even know? Would anyone?
Read More
Baseball’s bullpen — previous despair and future repair
By Xander Tilock | 13 hours agoThe Cavaliers' struggles can be fixed by improved roster management and reliance on consistent relief pitchers.
Virginia baseball falters, drops series to NC State
By Jacob Tisdale | 3 days agoVirginia dropped a crucial ACC series, endangering a top seed in the conference tournament.
Women’s lacrosse upset in season-ending defeat against Florida
By Matthew Ryeom | 3 days agoThe Cavaliers kept it close until the fourth quarter, where they ultimately came up short.
