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Dockter Duval's Advice Column

We had a small quiz in class the other day and I saw someone cheating. It's not as if it was a really important test or anything that will count a lot for the class, but it still bothered me quite a bit. I don't want to be a snitch and turn the person in, but at the same time I feel like it's really wrong. What do you think I should do?

Sincerely,

Confused

Dear Confused,

I think that every person at the University has a different outlook on the honor code and the role it should play within the community. Some feel as though it is nothing more than wishful thinking, and others that it is one of the unique components that separate this University from others. I understand the personal dilemma that you have in terms of not wanting to feel as though you let this sort of behavior go unnoticed, but also that you don't want to tattle.

The purists would tell you that any infraction of the honor code is extremely serious and should be mentioned, but I personally do not feel the same way. I do not think that a situation like this is worth getting someone kicked out of school. Whereas some people might be upset, or annoyed at having to deal with someone of this nature, I always feel pity more than anything else. I find it sad that someone could either care about their grades to the point that they would be willing to sacrifice getting caught, or that they care so little about learning that they don't want to take the time to glance over the material.

In any case, because I feel bad for these pitiful students, my inclination would be to take a middle ground approach to the situation. Instead of going straight to the professor and getting this person booted out of school, or just letting it slide knowing that it might eat at your inner conscience, I would try to find out the student's name and either send an anonymous email (you could set up a quick hotmail account) or letter. If you were to make him/her aware that you witnessed an honor offense I believe that the shock alone would be enough to curb the action, but at the same time give this person a second chance.

I do not feel that it is possible, nor correct, to enforce a moral code. People, especially at this age, will need to come to their own conclusions about right and wrong. Hopefully, by taking this subtle, yet noticeable, approach you can give this person the chance to change and see why it's wrong to cheat, but at the same time ridding yourself of any guilt for not having taken any action.

Dear Dockter Duval,

When I was growing up I always wanted to date the most popular guy in high school. I always imagined him being extremely handsome with a great sense of humor and very mature for his age. Finally, I have realized my dreams - only I am three years behind schedule. Yes, I am close to 21 years old and he is, well, shall I say a budding 17 year-old. Is it wrong that I feel so in love with someone of this age?

Sincerely,

Mrs. Robinson

Dear Robinson,

Is it wrong, you ask? No. Is it right? No. Well, let me start over without being so harsh. If you are in love then who is to say that anything could be wrong if the relationship is going well and you're happy. It's not as if you have to check with society and use their thumbs- up signal as a green light to proceed (of course, always with caution). Although Freud would have a field day, I do not feel as strongly opposed.

If you're happy, I think you should just go with the flow. However, here are some things to consider. When you were in kindergarten, he might not have been able to muster a single word. When you were in eighth grade, pondering life and getting ready to enter high school, he still had to walk in straight lines going to recess. But, everyone knows that maturity-wise the age gap decreases over time, so in about 10 years you will be golden. In the mean time, you'll just have to rearrange your Friday night plans from going out to the bars and having a few drinks to going to a movie with the homecoming king - as long as the flick isn't NC-17 you'll be set.

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