I have this roommate who is pretty nice, but sometimes she really gets on my nerves. One thing that bothers me is the fact that each morning when my alarm goes off she jumps into my bed and starts shaking me to wake up. She thinks it's really fun, almost like a slumber party, and has a huge smile on her face. I, not being a huge fan of bodily contact, become stiff to protect myself from the attack. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but she's making me really uncomfortable. What should I do?
Sincerely,
In Need of a Body Bubble
Dear In Need of a Body Bubble,
Although it may seem abrupt and kind of rude, you need to be firm and up front with the fact that she is making you uncomfortable. If you politely tell your roommate that close physical contact makes you queasy then it is likely that she'll stop her flying wakeup calls. Oftentimes, people worry that they've violated the social code and will react in the other extreme; meaning, it will be difficult to squeeze a handshake out of her, let alone a hug for the next couple of months.
Unfortunately, this is kind of the natural cycle before things can return to a happy medium. The reason you need to be frank and clear, as opposed to dropping subtle comments to relay your feelings, is because there is a good chance that your roommate is not the best at picking up on social cues, body language, etc. If she were adept in these situations, she most likely would've noticed the fact that you curl up into a protective shell to accompany the whimpering flow of tears that precedes the extreme discomfort. She probably thinks you're, "just playing along for fun," since it is such an oh-so-joyous experience.
But if you still feel you need to be subtle, then there are a few options. If you're willing to make a small sacrifice, you could always resort to the classic whoopie cushion.
Dear Dockter Duval,
My roommate has a love for computers -- so much so that he spends all of his time using mine. He has recently downloaded so much stuff that my computer got a virus and had to be sent off for repairs. He's really secretive about what he does on it, which I didn't really care about until now. I'm getting my computer back in a few days and I'm wondering if I can ask him to stop using it because I don't really trust him. Is that fair?
Very sincerely,
Computer-less
Dear Computer-less,
It's completely fair if you ask your roommate to stop using your computer, or at least to ask him to quit his downloading spree. He should not abuse the privilege of having the use of a computer in his room. There are plenty of students at the University that rely on computer labs and libraries to suit their electronic needs.
It is a matter of him respecting you and your belongings, and he has definitely overstepped his bounds. By asking your roommate to no longer monopolize your computer, you are not overstepping any imaginary lines. On the contrary, you are probably restoring the lines that have already been skewed. As for what to do when you're not around, you could always put a password on the computer. It sounds kind of ridiculous, but then again, so does him using your computer as a hub for his porn fetish. I mean, let's be honest, what else could he possibly want to hide from you?
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