Finally. It's time to eat. While Parents Weekend is meant for warm hugs, news from home and familiar faces, we all know the truth: it's time to eat.
The Virginia Brunch served at the dining halls this weekend may appeal to some, but the large majority of University students will not be sitting down to a dinner that requires them to scan their University ID and pick up a tray. Who can resist a "free" steak at Aberdeen Barn or biscuits at The Tavern?
Your economics teacher may tell you there's no such thing as a free lunch, but he obviously didn't have Parents Weekend at his college. If Mom and Dad are picking up the tab, it falls into that great financial category of "free."
My own parents came up this past weekend from Florida and took a friend and me out to dinner. When the waiter put a little silver bowl in the center of the table, filled with bacon bits for the salads we ordered, my friend's eyes opened wide as she said, "Ohhhhh....real bacon." We dove in and shoveled it on our empty plates to eat as-is.
"What are you two doing? Don't they feed you at school?" asked my mom.
(Interestingly, despite the fact that we are starved for good food, we are still packing on an extra 15 pounds. Oh, the irony.)
It would be unfair for me to say the joy of Parents Weekend is little more than good bacon bits. Really, it's about going to Harris Teeter to restock your room with the essentials.
"No really, mom, I need this fourth bag of Ramen noodles. And while you're in Aisle 4, would you pick up some Oreos?"
But all this snacking is not in vain. When they un-rope the Lawn this weekend, we will need sufficient energy to run down it, throwing a Frisbee to our little brothers. As the grass is trampled beneath you and your extra 15 pounds, just remember how hard the Grounds crews have worked to make the Lawn a little greener for your family to enjoy.
The next time your dad complains about the cost of tuition, remind him that you are attending the school with the greenest grass on the East Coast, though they had to rope you off like livestock for a few months beforehand.
If your brother tires of Frisbee on the Lawn, there are several other ways to entertain your guests. And, luckily, you will have the whole day to do so because most parents insist they will call you sometime around 9 a.m. on Saturday. That provides ample time to head to Monticello or Carter's Mountain. Realistically, more of us will be headed towards Fashion "Scare" Mall for some winter-clothes shopping since the University has recently turned into an arctic tundra, and the tank tops have been filed away in favor of wool and fleece.
If the third years are able to successfully keep their parents off-Grounds long enough, they might miss the dreaded ring ceremony; though this may be the only opportunity in which your parents actually beg you to accept a small ring in a box from an older man. It symbolizes that you have made it halfway through your time at the University. More importantly, it means you have only one more Parents Weekend after this. Time is running out, so do as much shopping as possible now.
In the case that something you bought does not fit properly and you need to return it, have no fear: Next weekend is Fall Break. This, of course, means another round of good meals. So if your clothes don't fit properly because they are too big, you may want to hold onto them for now.
Deep down, we are all glad to see our parents, and not just because of a nice dinner or a new Patagonia. They are excited to meet our friends, see our school, and hear about our activities. Besides, who else could possibly sound so cheery at the other end of the phone line during pre-dawn hours on Saturday morning?
It's even nice to see younger siblings, knowing they will be gone in 72 hours. It was refreshing to see my little brother last weekend, though he insists he has taken over my bedroom and had to "rearrange some things" to get a good view of the big screen TV he's put in there. He's says not to worry, they will have the carpet cleaned and that big hole patched up by the time I come home next week.
With the leaves changing and the weather turning cool, it will be a great weekend for some football. Oh, that's right. Parents Weekend doesn't fall on a home game. The stadium would not be able to accommodate all of its regular fans plus thousands of parents. This is disappointing because it means your parents will miss the animated Cavalier making the world safe for democracy. This is all your parents have heard about when they call you after the games on Saturdays. You may not remember the score, but you excitedly tell them how the Cavalier annihilated the Maryland Terrapin last week on Hoo-vision.
This weekend, whether you decide to attend an a cappella concert or hear President Casteen speak or you are simply exhausted from all the eating and shopping, don't forget to utter those little words that all parents need to hear: "Thank you."
This is also an appropriate response to the waiter bringing the bacon bits to the table.
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