Barney. 98 Degrees. Harry Potter. With so many men in my life, it's no wonder Valentine's Day can be so difficult.
As I stood in the card section of Harris Teeter last week, I was outraged. If I wanted to wish my friends a "Happy Valentine's Day" with a card, I was being forced to do so with very little variety.
My choices came down to a purple dinosaur, a fictional broom-riding sorcerer or a group of teen pop stars with enough grease in their hair to make the Exxon-Valdez disaster pale in comparison.
What has the world come to? Can't a girl find a package of valentines that don't involve cartoons or teen idols to send to her 20-year-old friends? This goes deeper than Hallmark. This, my friends, is a product of our love-hate (mostly hate) relationship with Feb. 14.
Long-gone are the days of secret sweethearts, valentines elaborately constructed from lace and cheerful card exchanges between friends. Valentine's Day, a day on which we all should remind those around us how much we love them, now has two target audiences: pre-schoolers and newlyweds.
Roaming the isles of Harris Teeter and eventually the Hallmark store at Barracks Road, I saw punch out Valentines with an insertion hole for a lollypop. I saw cards entitled, "To my husband," with enough calligraphy and fold-out pages to qualify as a doctoral dissertation.
In the section labeled "For Brother," I searched for an appropriate Valentine for my 17-year-old brother. I came across two options: "For a special boy who's 2, a Valentine's wish is on its way to you" and another card that featured a scantily-clad woman with an equally suggestive message inside. He may be a sophomore in high school, but, to me, my brother still is a little boy with overalls and a red wagon. No half-naked women for him. Period.
Have the cynics conquered this holiday of red roses and conversation hearts? Have we convinced card manufacturers that Valentine's Day only is alive and well in kindergarten classrooms?
Today, I reclaim this holiday. I reclaim it for all those who want to celebrate Valentine's Day with friends or brothers and sisters. If you want to tell your roommate she's loved, Barney cannot say it best. Hear me, Hallmark: I want packages of cards that won't get a laugh out of my adult friends. I want to wish my brother a great day without the X-rated graphic. There are so many people I love, and Valentine's Day is for them, too - even if we're not in elementary school or haven't recently exchanged vows.
If the issue simply were the poor variety of cards, I could keep silent. I could rummage around in my desk for some red construction paper and a stencil, or simply jump on the information highway and send an e-card.
That, however, is a whole separate issue. Celebrating Valentine's Day in cyberspace almost is as bad and impersonal as the Barney valentine. Don't get me started.
The issue at hand goes far deeper than a poor selection of cards. Let's be honest: people hate Valentine's Day. All it takes is a dinner disaster one year or a bad break-up and we write off Feb. 14 as a cruel annual reminder that we're single.
But it does not have to be this way. Valentine's Day is not just for lovers, newlyweds or eager children. You have a mother, a best friend, a cousin who all want to hear from you or spend time with you. Gosh darnit, people like you.
If you currently are in a serious relationship and already have planned a romantic candlelight dinner with the perfect card and gift, don't feel bad. We are not trying to take this holiday away from you.
My mission simply is to spread the love. If you are one of those people who observes Feb. 14 on the calendar with a deep sense of dread, remember that today is not about boyfriends and girlfriends. It also is about best friends and family members, who you will undoubtedly love much longer than anyone else in your life.
Have dinner with your mom, drop a note to your friend who goes to college on the west coast. Buy some chocolates and leave them out on the table at your sorority house. Remember, women consider chocolate an essential element of the food guide pyramid. Several servings a day will greatly boost your mental health.
Do something nice for yourself also, but do not stoop too low when reclaiming this holiday. Sending a dozen red roses to yourself and displaying them on your apartment's kitchen table is misleading.
You also lose points if there's a card attached in your handwriting that reads, "To my one and only. You make my life complete." It's people like you who give singletons a bad name.
I gave up trying to find the perfect card, but that does not mean that I'm giving up on Valentine's Day. I'm simply giving it a makeover, reclaiming it for friends and families to share.
But get your hands off my conversation hearts. Those are mine.
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