"Let's swing from the bedposts like monkeys." My mind: "What does she mean?" After having my "new" friend jump in my bed with my half-naked body, I became lost in the world of sexual ignorance. She swung from the top bunk bed, rubbing her body against mine -- intentionally, I hoped -- while laughing and screaming joyfully.
When my new friend aroused my mind with the thoughts of monkeys, I could only think evolution. I imagined the Discovery Channel while hearing over and over the song: "You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel."
A year later, while strolling through the U.Va. bookstore with the "spending money" tears, I noticed a book that supposedly could explain my sexually driven thoughts. The book was "The Evolution of Desire" by David M. Buss.
Mr. Buss affirms that men want something different than women, illustrating his point with animals in nature. In chapter four, "Casual Sex," Buss explains why guys love casual sex and evolutionally have been adapted to casual sex. In chapter three, "Men Want Something Else," which should have come after chapter four and not before, Buss explains the mindset that drives our dire hunger for a certain type of woman.
Men also can learn a lot by reading chapter two, "What Women Want." First-year men can learn why first-year females want graduate students. Basically, they offer more potential for success than the average first-year guy. Men still yearning to know why football players get more love than them can go to the gym and do a study. However, if you want a quick lesson, pick up this book in one hand and read it while doing curls with the other.
I'm sure there are readers who have no interest in reading this book. At least, grab the book in the bookstore and read the first chapter on the bottom floor between some isles.
Men seeking a reason for their over-protectiveness, jealousy, constant hormone rushes and so on should read this book.
To the guys who want to make love for three days, tell your lady you are a "love bug." If she seems lost on that phrase, buy her the book. "Love bugs" are insects that maintain their copulatory embrace for as long as three days. Why? They must keep their mate close because other males continuously swarm around attempting to mate with her. Accordingly, I should be jealous and over-protective because the other male "love bugs" constantly look for a piece of my pie.
Furthermore, males ignored by women because of their small, weak, short, miniature, scrawny (I could go on) stature, should read the part about the elephant seals. The female elephant seals want the biggest and strongest of the elephant seals. Accordingly, when a small elephant seal approaches a female, the female makes a loud noise calling for the bigger elephant seal to come to her aid.
To the women and possibly men who are angered by this review, I feel your pain. NOT REALLY! I write to help the young men of U.Va. short on excuses. I also write to inspire women to read this book and interpret it completely differently from me. Women know evolution implies that males should have developed a brain by now. Thus, if there are any men who think this book will excuse their stupid acts, do not blame me when that smart, beautiful woman breaks the relationship.
Kurt Davis has no medical expertise whatsoever. Send questions and concerns to kurt@cavalierdaily.com.
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