So what? You can make it two more weeks. Can't you? Well, unfortunately, I don't think I can. I just feel that mask of sanity slipping off the edge of my face -- the monster is going to break out and the villagers will flee to the hills in a massive horde, screaming.
Spring Break is approaching fast, but not fast enough, damnit. Instead, we have two more weeks jammed full of more possible deadlines than even the most ruthless team of teachers could assemble. But somehow they did -- I know what they were thinking too! Hey let's see if we can really make him destroy his sleep schedule! Maybe that rumor about never being the same after five consecutive days without sleep is true? Let's test it out on the students and see if we can push their stress levels to the max.
Well, it's working. Each weekend gets further and further away, so you just have to start the weekends a little earlier. Pretty soon it's four in the morning on a Monday night and you realize you have a 9:30 Tuesday morning class. Somehow in the next five hours you have to get sober, get some sleep, write a paper on Jung's opinion on the similarity between Helen of Troy and Aphrodite and get to class somewhat resembling a rationally thinking male. The question sets in ... "Jesus, when is Spring Break?"
But rather than an answer, the only response we get from Jesus is a Mel Gibson movie that comes out on Ash Wednesday (tomorrow, for you pagans). And of course there is the little catastrophe surrounding the movie: Gibson is getting criticism that the movie may make people anti-Semitic because the way the Jewish council treats Jesus ... but wait a minute guys, that actually did happen. It is written down in a book that some folks consider to be the Holy Word of God, but who am I to point that out -- no one reads anymore anyway.
Anti-Semitic or not, Mel could not have bought better publicity for his theatrical stunt which involves a rather graphic crucifixion scene. He's going to make a killing on this movie, and we are going to flock to the theater to watch an execution. For some reason this just seems a little morbid to me, but hey, back to Spring Break.
Spring Break is in two weeks, and thank God Almighty in heaven above that "The Sopranos" is starting back right in the middle of it. Too bad we will be burning our pale skin on the beaches of the Dominican Republic while the first episode is running in living rooms across the country. But how and the hell can you complain about not watching TV when you are in another country. Well basically you can't, unless you are in a Turkish prison. That's the beauty of these forced holidays -- we get to pass it off to our parents as the only break we get all year, so hopefully they will let us go some place extravagant with a huge group of our friends. And what is it going to turn into? Chaos. That's right absolute and utter pandemonium.
We are not the generation that dances on MTV's "The Grind" for our spring recess; we are the stark raving mad people who get kicked out of hotels. We are an elite group, "Blue Team! Go!" The sun can have its way with me and turn me beet red for all I care -- I am getting out of Charlottesville and I am not taking my books with me. There's always that one teacher who tries to assign things during the break too, as if anyone is ever going to actually complete said task before they get in their departing airports.
Second-year College student Taylor Hollis agrees, "The teacher was like, 'There's a reading assignment over the break,' and I was like, 'Hey man. I'm on vacation.'"
And I don't think I could quite say it better myself, nor so eloquently for that matter.
Enough of this rampant complaining. Back to books and midterms and endless stacks of reading that you should have done back in January. But wait, doesn't some bar have a special tonight? But it's a school night. But you really want to go out. But you have class in the morning. But a beer sounds really good right now.
Just keep it together for two more weeks and then let it go completely. And if there is a crying baby on your flight out of town, then you will truly know that the forces of nature are laughing at you.
(Brett Meeks can be reached at Meeks@cavalierdaily.com)
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