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Here are the responses to last week's questions, provided to The Cavalier Daily by various University students. We have selected the best ones for your enjoyment.

Q: If there is a God, what does He or She look like?

A: An octopus. A slimy, purple octopus. Maybe with a beak.

Q: If you could have been alive in any decade in the 20th century, which would it be and why?

A: The 1920's. I like ankles and flapping.

Q: Favorite memory from fifth grade?

A: Favorite memory: handing out the Oreo cookies filled with toothpaste on April 1st. Worst memory: the apology letter I was forced to write afterwards.

Q: When was the last time you rode a horse?

A: Three weeks ago. [This is the most uninteresting answer we received to any question. Nice work.]

Q: What is the best bathroom on Grounds?

A: Second floor, Alderman. But don't tell anyone, I like privacy.

Q: Who is the coolest person you know?

A: Definitely not you. These things are never funny. Stop writing them.

Q: Who taught you how to swim, and when did you learn?

A: I was on a floaty toy and I fell in when I was five years old. It was live or die. You might ask what I was doing on a floaty toy when I didn't know how to swim yet. My answer would be: irresponsible parents.

Q: Where is the best place to do work outside on Grounds?

A: On top of the warm manhole by Newcomb. It's so toasty.

Q: What is the most annoying error message you have seen on ISIS while registering for classes?

A: "You have a balance of $0.37. Your registration has been blocked." I had to go all the way out to Carruthers and the lady was really bitchy about it.

Q: What is the great American novel?

A: "One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish." It's brilliant in its simplicity and its aesthetic value is incalculable in literary history.

Q: What movie character would you choose as your sidekick?

A: The little mouse in "Cinderella." He's a bad mother[unprintable].

Q: What hour do you most dread every week?

A: ECON 202 lecture. Stay the hell away from that class.

Q: What is the best thing about having a VIC card at Harris Teeter?

A: Hearing, "Welcome VIC customer" at the automatic checkout line.

Q: If you had to live on the streets of any city in the world, which city would you choose and why?

A: Seattle. Rain, coffee, underground music. A recipe for finding oneself.

Q: What is the best place to be by yourself?

A: In a crowd.

Q: When is the next time you plan on taking a plane somewhere and where are you going?

A: I'm spending the summer in Thailand doing research on a rare species of endangered mosquito.

Q: What was the most embarrassing day of your college career?

A: This past Saturday when I was stranded in the middle of a crowded Wal-Mart parking lot wearing a pink dress (I'm a male), and my change of clothes and car keys were locked in the trunk. I waited patiently for AAA for over an hour and a half in the afternoon sun. This exposure resulted in a nasty sunburn which clearly shows that I was wearing a dress.

[20 Questions is laughing out loud ... and also wondering why you were wearing a dress.]

Q: Finish the sentence: "There's no way I would put my finger there because..."

A: It's my last one and I don't want to risk it.

Q: What is your favorite euphemism you use to say "drunk"?

A: My grandmother always says "the old people are getting 'looped' tonight." I like that.

Q: Who is your arch-nemesis?

A: You. Die.

The Verdict: We're never asking for your help again.

--Compiled by A-J Aronstein, Cavalier Daily Associate Editor

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