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Four year later, a columnist's left only with a few laughs

I swore when I took over as a columnist there was no way I'd write a narcissistic, sentimental fourth-year column.

But, since all I can think of is the Green Bay Packers' frustrating NFL draft and my history term paper, I'm left with a slightly sentimental fourth-year column. So, I'm going to put to use my three years of experience reading these end-of-year columns and employ all the clichés of this column type including, but not limited to, a self-indulgent story, a short reminiscence about an aspect of life at Virginia and a list of people I should probably thank.

I've always firmly believed that sports are supposed to be fun. They should be treated as a game, and games are funny. There is an inherent humor to sports that sometimes gets lost in the talk of contract disputes, contract buyouts and the many other belabored, serious issues in sports.

While my four years at the University have not resulted in an overwhelming number of victories, championships or accolades in the major sports, it has definitely been interesting.

Pete Gillen was at the center of several of the rather funny moments. While his basketball team did not make it to a single NCAA tilt in my time at Virginia, I'll always be able to look back and laugh at my random interactions with Pete.

The best and likely final run-in with Gillen came after his recent resignation. As I was getting ready to leave St. Maarten's on Double Wing Tuesday, Gillen walked in, sat down and ordered his standard red wine. I walked over and thanked Gillen for his time at Virginia and mentioned how it was fun to cover him for The Cavalier Daily. He quickly added, "Well, you did a great job." Gillen clearly didn't actually know who I was (I wouldn't expect him to) but the fact that he attempted to pay me a compliment anyway killed me.

Plus, any time you see a former Division I basketball coach at something called "Double Wing Night," you're going to laugh -- there's no getting around it.

The football team has been an endless source of amusement. Many people outside the media don't realize what a tight grip Al Groh holds on his program, but getting an interview from his team is quite a bit more complicated than breaking into Fort Knox. I have no problem with the secrecy; Groh is entitled to run his program as he sees fit. Plus, when he springs absurdities like Ahmad Brooks as a return man early last season, we can all enjoy a good laugh as well as a solid return by the 249-pound linebacker.

The things I'll miss most from the football program though are the Cav Man videos as presented at each and every home game by the Virginia Lottery. Cav Man was certainly the most pleasant surprise upon my arrival at Virginia. There is nothing quite as funny as a poorly animated character smiting other poorly animated representations of our opponents' mascots. The best Cav Man video of all time had to be the package for the first Continental Tire Bowl when Cav Man was portrayed galloping down I-77 on his way into Ericcson (now Bank of America) Stadium.

That covers the self-indulgent anecdote and the nostalgic story about life as a Virginia sports fan, with the added bonus of an approving nod to how Al Groh runs his program. That leaves us with the requisite Academy-Awards style list of people I have to thank.

The Virginia Athletic Department, including media relations, has been extremely helpful during the last four years, so I thank them.

For column ideas, I must thank the man who has appeared occasionally in my columns as "my college buddy" and the more generic "friend." I thank him, but refuse to name him here as the anonymity preserves the mystery.

I also must thank my girlfriend who has consistently provided input on my columns, including the extremely helpful "I don't like it when you write so much about sports."

My family has also been extremely supportive of my writing, wading through columns even when they don't understand the ins and outs of yet another J.C. Mathis joke.

I should also thank my editors, all eight of them over my four years for indulging my rants and general lack of productivity.

See, this is sounding more and more clichéd with every sentence. Let's just end this here. You can now turn to the WHATZIT.

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