I love Facebook; there is no end to its uses I had never thought a scamer would use a petition for a threesome as a ruse to promote an online music service, but clearly I lack vision.
I did say before that I support all forms of consensual sex that doesn't involve animals and I will hold to that. Brody Ruckus, if you wanted a threesome, good for you.
But what about your girlfriend? Anything that takes an intense amount of coaxing makes the term "consensual" a bit of a stretch. Does grudgingly doing something count as consensual?
Basically, if you are in a serious relationship and you ask to have a threesome you are asking for permission to sleep with someone else.
"Technically it's not cheating if you're there too." But "technically" is a very dangerous word. If someone agrees to something, the act is technically permissible. Even if it's deemed okay, someone in a relationship is likely to have feelings hurt by knowing they allowed another person to encroach on an intimate act.
Colin offers some cushy rules to sidestep inevitably awkward situations. My favorite is rule #2, "The third party should be chosen by the person of the same sex."
Any fan of the show "Friends" knows the potential dangers of this rule. Ross Gellar was suffering from a sexually dead marriage when he suggested that he and his wife try a threesome. His wife really liked this idea and lucky him, she knew just the girl to ask. A short time later, Ross's wife left him for the other woman. Turns out his wife found exactly what her relationship was missing -- a female partner. I'm sure this example is a bit extreme but I think it highlights an important issue: Someone has to be dissatisfied with the relationship if they want to bring in outside assistance.
Now let's look at the logistics of having another person. Sex gets awkward with two people as you try to shift positions and adjust to the strange noises bodies in motion make. Try picturing shifting around with three people. Instead of just an arm or a leg getting in the way, you can have an entire person.
If you have two girls and one guy, how does that work? Chances are someone's being neglected. It would be very awkward to be the third wheel in a threesome; you'd pretty much just watch two people having sex. If it's two guys and one girl, who gets what and how to you mark your preferred territory? "Oh um, I was kinda hoping to be the one on top," could create a very strange moment.
For people not in serious relationships, I feel threesomes are probably no more or less damaging than any other hookup involving sex, minus one small detail: protection. Swapping quickly between partners increases the chances that other things are being swapped as well, and I don't mean spit. If a threesome involves one male and two females, to be safe he would have to use a different condom for each girl. I have a slight problem picturing any guy saying, "Whoa, timeout ... gotta change."
If after reading all of these warnings, you still want a threesome, consider this: How good are you at satisfying one partner? Unless you're a stellar lover, I'd suggest learning to perfectly please one person instead of splitting your attention between two.
Megan Hein is a Health & Sexuality columnist. She can be reached at hein@cavalierdaily.com.
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