Trying to come up with a topic for my column this week was tough. There are many things in our lives, socks for instance, that are important but not worthy of space in this newspaper. My (potential) sock story would go like this: "Socks keep your feet warm, dry and blister-free." But after that opening, I am hosed.
I got my inspiration for this subject when I flipped the burger that I was grilling onto my plate and did the automatic reach for the fridge: bend over and squint into its deep abyss. I asked myself, "Wait, what am I looking for?" (I also asked myself why I was squinting ... but my weird habits are a tale for another day.) I realized I was on autopilot looking for ketchup. We didn't have any. I gasped and fell to the ground. ... Well, actually, I tromped over to the store and picked up a bottle. I ate my meal cold rather than to eat it without the named condiment. I then realized how important ketchup really is.
Ketchup originated not as a tomato-based product, but more as a general term for a sauce that had mushrooms or other such things in it. One of the first recipes for tomato ketchup was printed in a cookbook in the 1800s by Mary Randolph. Now, that name should ring a bell for you dorky students, like me, who have visited Monticello. Apparently, one of the first recipes for this world-renowned condiment was recorded in the cookbook of the relative of the founder of our beloved University. (I got this little fact, and others, from the Columbia Encyclopedia.)
Ketchup has not always been so loved, however; at times, it has been the source of much ridicule. Believe it or not, this tasty sauce has caused many a politician to be made fun of. In the 1980s there was a push in Congress to classify ketchup as a vegetable in school lunch programs. This was to cut back on the money that schools had to spend on healthy foods. Not only did the people who proposed this get pointed and laughed at, but it stained Ronald Reagan with a scarlet ketchup letter "A" for "A very stupid man."
Actually, the controversy of what is a vegetable is close to ketchup's heart. The classification of ketchup's main ingredient (can you guess?), tomatoes, has been argued over for years. The tomato is botanically a fruit while considered a vegetable for culinary purposes. The Supreme Court overruled science and named it a vegetable in 1893. This was mainly so that it wouldn't sneak through the tariff system untaxed.
In New Jersey the tomato was declared the state fruit (way to go state rights!). State fruits? I didn't know those existed. I tried Google-ing Virginia's state fruit -- apparently we don't have one yet. Anyone have any great ideas?
Lycopene is good for you. Tomatoes have lycopene, ketchup has tomatoes -- enough said.
Finally, ketchup was even important in the last presidential election! What, you can't remember who was in that election? Think big hair, long face ... yeah, John Kerry. Well, Mr. Kerry is married to Teresa Heinz, a member of the Heinz family (and if I have to tell you what product the Heinz name is associated with, you have no right to ever eat a hot dog again). Anyway, Bush supporters decided to create a ketchup called "W Ketchup" so as not to help fund Kerry's campaign. Maybe if they spent more time and effort on speech lessons. ... Wait, this isn't supposed to be an Opinion column.
So, I have touched on ketchup's unsuspected significance in history, current events and your health. Now let's speak of the joy that ketchup brings you. It is tasty (in its definition it is actually called tasty). It is red (vibrant foods always make me happy). And, it goes on hot dogs, which are made by Oscar Meyer, which owns the Oscar Meyer Weiner mobile. That, my friends, is why ketchup is important -- it increases the consumption of hot dogs, which allows the people at Oscar Meyer to afford such vehicle.
And who does not want to see a huge wiener on a bun driving around?
Maggie's column runs bi-weekly on Fridays. She can be reached at jones@cavalierdaily.com.
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