I cannot remember the last time I had one of those half-black, half-white cookies; my memory only holds that they were a delicious blend of lemon and chocolate. These black and white treats of my childhood parallel the way in which I perceived the world back then -- in terms of the black and the white, of the definite. The world is no longer so simple and as I contemplate my everyday decisions, I wish everything were as straightforward as a cookie layered with white icing on one side and brown icing on the other.
You may be wondering what a dessert has to do with, well, anything, and I am going to tell you. But before I do, I want you to think about the possibilities. When was the last time you made a decision that required no introspection whatsoever? I am not referring to stir-fry-or-Cajun-chicken-for-dinner type decisions, but more complicated ones. We all have to make them, and they are never settled without effort or time.
Example (food for thought): I have made a conscious decision not to use the phrase "hey girl hey." Why? The aversion to said phrase did not come about until approximately two and a half weeks ago. Some of my friends had been saying it for a while, here and there, more for fun than for any other reason. I am not even sure how the phrase came to be -- I think I heard someone say it was from "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila", but like I said, I'm not positive. Mind you, these were both male and female friends who were taking part in the usage of the now popular expression.
As I said, the incident occurred about two and a half weeks ago. My friend and I were walking back from a party on 14th Street. The theme of the party made reference to the movie "Revenge of the Nerds," but my friend and I decided not to dress up. This was out of the ordinary for us, but in hindsight, might have strengthened my case. As we walked past the shops on the Corner, we passed a group of gentlemen in front of Cohn's On the Corner. The gentlemen were walking in the same direction as us, but with our dashing good looks and speed, it was only natural for us to bypass them. My friend was talking about how little he had had to drink and we thought nothing of continuing our conversation as we passed this group of upperclassmen. Then, out of nowhere, one of the group's members shouted "hey girl hey" with a lisp and an air of homosexuality. The gentlemen continued to shout "hey girl hey" as my friend and I walked faster and faster across the street toward our dorms, hoping the tirade would stop when we were out of sight.
We were wearing normal clothes: jackets, jeans. I had on a gray beanie. My friend's voice (which was the only one that they heard) had a normal pitch and tone. We did not switch our hips, walk with one hand out or flail our arms around in the flamboyant manner so many stereotypes convey. In addition, I had left my dancing shoes, ball gown and fairy wand back at my dorm, so we were unsure why our walking past elicited such a reaction.
I was not scared by this occurrence as much as I was troubled by it. What if the group had accosted us? What if either side had had more to drink? Would I have said something in response to the assemblage of upperclassmen? What would have followed? My natural reaction was to keep walking and not look back, which is what we did, but what if we hadn't? I realize that this is not a hate crime of any sort, but what variable would have had to change for it to become one?
Entering my first year at U.Va., I thought any person -- black, white, Asian, Hispanic, gay, straight, bi or asexual -- could walk across Grounds without having to worry about being discriminated against. I thought I was coming to a place where it was safe to walk alone, and I hope that my next three years here prove this to be true. With the flurry of articles, chants, protests and counter-articles of last semester, I guess I had overlooked the underlying hatred and lack of acceptance that is not only here, but prevalent.
An ironic aspect of this experience was that it occurred at 12:23 a.m., the beginning of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, Jan. 21. If I am not mistaken, Mr. King dreamed of equality for all people and told his audience at the reflecting pool that he wanted his children to live in a world where they were not judged by the color of their skin. Some people may suggest his vision is now a reality, but is it really? Do we live in a world where every person is treated as an equal? One does not have to go to U.Va. to know that while our world may be an improvement from Mr. King's, it is nowhere close to being universally equal. I have heard about past instances when metaphorical blood had been shed over racial and discriminatory issues at the University, but I guess my naïveté had gotten the best of me when I thought we were beyond that.
We live in a world that idealizes certain values and discredits others. We all stereotype whether we want to admit it or not, but not all of us act on our prejudices. Our world will never be just black or white, and our decisions will never be effortless. To fight the good fight or to rest assured knowing you were the bigger person may be a daily struggle for some people. They say that nothing easy is worth it, but how do you know when it is appropriate to quit? I did not say something to the group then, but I am now. I don't care if someone doesn't want to like me, but I would appreciate it if I were given a chance before such a judgment was made. Will we keep running into these worn-out issues of equality another 50 years from now? What has to happen for change to finally come into effect? I hope that Mr. King's dreams come true and that someday white will be equal not only to black, but to every other color in the rainbow as well.
Ian's column runs biweekly Fridays. He can be reached at ismith@cavalierdaily.com.
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