Editor’s note: This article is a humor column.
As leases all across Charlottesville begin to start, furnishing apartments are at the forefront of many University students. You might have heard about the underground economy that runs apartment furnishing all across the University. With Venmo as the middleman, and broke students bargaining for cheaper prices on furniture, the University resale market sees more action than Clem 2 on a Sunday night. This guide will help you navigate the hundreds of “lightly-used” items ready for purchase.
1. Know where to go and when
A defining characteristic of University resale is that it is everywhere — sidewalks, GroupMes and even the University’s very own ReUse Store. Online chats are the best way to lock down a new lamp you’ve been needing or secure two nightstands for your new room — you know, one because you need it, and the second for the aesthetic.
The University GroupMe circuit is a whole world of its own, but don’t worry. You just have to know when to hop on. Students with the most high quality things operate in the most unsuspecting places — groups with names like “ANTH 1001 Discussion,” “Rugby Club,” and “Chem TA Help.” These chats were made for class or club use, but come April, they transform into full-blown black markets.
So what if you only went to one meeting of the “SpongeBob Club?” Maybe someone in there would be interested in the inflatable pineapple chair you’ve been trying to get rid of since September.
2. Learn the lingo
Negotiating is critical. To get the best deal, you have to see what sellers are saying and know what offers to believe. OBO might look like “Or Best Offer,” but it really means “I’m desperate but still want to keep my dignity.” And if someone says “brand new,” just know it probably survived spilled coffee during finals, took a dent after our basketball team lost, AGAIN, and has Cane’s sauce fused into the fabric.
It’s not new — it’s just new to you.
And then there’s the dreaded “pickup only.” Sounds simple, right? Until you realize the pickup location is a dimly lit alley behind a student housing complex with no cell service and a suspicious number of squirrels. Pro tip — send in a friend first. That way, if things go south, you can either call for back up, or get a head start writing their eulogy. Ask questions, lowball with confidence and remember, if the seller uses more than three exclamation points…leave the Group and change your username.
3. Timing is everything
You think class registration is a high-stakes race? That just means you’ve never had to outbid seven strangers for a five-dollar IKEA dresser or speed-type “Claimed!!” under a “Free Toaster Oven” post in a University resale GroupMe. The good stuff falls off faster than your GPA during finals.
But here’s a super-secret tip for those hopping into the market late — December is your time to shine. That’s when study abroad students start cashing out their Venmo balances, ghosting their leases and panic-selling everything that won’t fit in a carry-on. They’re too busy printing boarding passes and Googling how to say “I’ll have a double” in Spanish, to negotiate. It’s a buyer’s paradise — if you’re fast.
And when negotiating, don’t respond too quickly. Let them wait. Make them wonder if you’re weighing your options or just mysteriously offline. It’s all part of the game.
Disclaimer: The “wait it out” strategy might fall short against extremely desperate buyers with no chill.
Overall, the University resale market can be a lot for brand new buyers and sellers. However, it’s where you learn the value of powerful negotiations, patience and knowing when to walk away from a “limited-edition” mirror from Walmart — it’s basically the McIntire School of Commerce. In the end, you’ll come out stronger, slightly poorer and with a brand new desk that only wobbles when you breathe near it or type too hard. Just remember, keep your Venmo stacked and notifications ready!
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