As I was sitting at the baseball game yesterday afternoon, staring out into the always panoramic Davenport Field, I noticed a new feature in the left field bleachers: the "'Hoo Zone" sign. Months after a contest was started to name the new seating area -- and after what I am sure was extremely careful consideration -- the athletic department decided "'Hoo Zone" was the submission that would really get those 'Hoos rockin' those bleachers.
At first, I was shocked. Did they get only one submission? Did no one think perhaps "'Hoos on First" would make for a slightly less boring area? Or perhaps the "O Zone" in honor of Virginia coach Brian O'Connor?
Then, it hit me: Virginia is just keeping with its tradition of a cheering section lacking in knowledge and originality. This is a school, after all, whose fight songs are rip-offs of the "The Hey Song" and "Auld Lang Syne."
The 'Hoo Zone is the last straw -- it's time for someone to step in. Here are a few of the other cheering flaws, and how they can be rectified.
1. The "oooooooOH!" kickoff cheer. Does anyone really know what's going on with this one? Why in the name of Chris Long do we do it for both teams' kickoffs? Is the intention to distract? Can't be, otherwise we'd be distracting our own kicker. Are we attempting to cheer? If what we said was any semblance of a word, then perhaps we could make this claim.
Here's how to fix it: Make it a pro-Virginia word that we're saying, not just the odd sort of scream that has people scratching their heads. It clearly has to be two syllables to maintain the inflection of the cheer -- (ooooh to OOOH!). Hm, a two-syllable, pro-U.Va. term ... got it! "waaaaaaHOOOS!"
2. The other football cheers (or lack thereof). The only cheer unique to football that we have is the first-down cheer, which is only fair at best. There need to be more! Perhaps something more creative on defensive third downs -- "Crazy Train" is a good pump-up song, but this is boring. Virginia Tech has the Hokie bird cluck, which is at least unique to the school. Something -- anything -- needs to fill the empty space. "The Good Ol' Song" and the "Go 'Hoos Go!" song after touchdowns just don't cut it.
3. Every single cheer on the Hoo Crew hype sheet ... except for "L-A-R-S Lars Lars Lars!" While I commend the Hoo Crew for, unlike football, at least making an attempt with the hype sheet, the cheers are comically terrible. I'm not sure whether to be upset because none of the cheers on the sheet were actually used at basketball games, or to be happy because the cheers were so moronic that we were probably better off not using them anyway. "Triple-Double Singletary"? Are we serious? Sean Singletary did many, many things at Virginia, perhaps filling every possible stat line -- that is, except for triple-doubles, of which he had none. We might as well scream that we don't know the first thing about the game of basketball.
That one was the worst, but the others weren't much better -- "That's what she said," for Mike Scott, "King Solomon," for Solomon Tat, "The Ragin' Cajun" for Jerome Meyinsse, "The Human Dribbling Drill," for Ryan Pettinella. What the Hoo Crew has to understand is the difference between a cheer and something clever you say to your buddy sitting next to you. How do you chant, "The Human Dribbling Drill?" (Theeeeee humandribblingdrill!") You don't. Try to get 15,000 people to say that in unison, and you're liable to get garbled nonsense because of the length of the cheer, as well as the number of consonants. Then, even if it is possible to make out the words, who is going to know who we're talking about? Cheers cannot be sarcastic -- they have to be simple and to the point, as in the Lars chant.
So what do we do? With the end of the Singletary era -- or "Singletera" as I like to call it -- we can now have a fresh start for our cheering section to go along with the basketball team. And guess what? You don't need a cheer for every player -- most schools don't have them. The only player cheer I can recall from an ACC school this past season was for DeMarcus Nelson of Duke (D-D-D-DeMAR!).
Instead of focusing on players, let's come up with some more original ideas for other aspects of the game. Perhaps we can do something a bit more clever during the starting lineup introductions for the opposing team than facing the other direction, which only a few people actually do anyway. Maryland takes out newspapers and shakes them. Duke greets opposing players by name as they are introduced (as in, "Hi, Sean!" after Singletary's name is announced).
I do not wish to vilify myself with the Hoo Crew, nor do I want to condemn them as an organization -- I think they do an excellent job in other areas, such as the Sabre point system to encourage attendance at other sporting events. But with these cheers, it's just not that hard, and we can do more to make it work.
(That's what she said.)
Read More
Omaha and Ohana — it’s all about family for Virginia baseball
By Xander Tilock | 48 minutes agoWith a multitude of meaningful connections, Virginia is aiming to rebound from Friday's loss and return home with a National Championship.
Cavaliers collapse, lose 3-2 in walkoff to North Carolina
By Xander Tilock | YesterdayVirginia will head to the loser's bracket Sunday after a disappointing loss to North Carolina.
Gertrude out for season after scooter accident
By Michael Liebermann | YesterdayThe hype around his second season will have to wait.
