This past week, I took a long look at all of my class syllabi, marked the exam dates in my calendar and promised myself I wouldn’t waste my time getting caught up in the frivolities and drama of a football season this year.
And then Saturday morning came and I remembered we had leftover pizza in the fridge and I came to my senses. Who was I kidding? I’ll be spending the weekends this year watching football like I do every year.
Now that a few weeks of the circus that is the football season is underway, I’ve made a few bold predictions about what we’re going to see this year. From the college ranks to the NFL, from the good to the bad to the ugly, here they are:
Prediction 1: Peter Lalich’s troubles will pass, and Lalich will resume his starting role, serving as a great quarterback for the next 2.5 years.
I’ve sat in on a Peter Lalich press conference before; I’ve read the quotes. It’s easy to root against him. He’s aloof and arrogant in a quiet way. Something about his wily smile, fiery eyes and James Dean body posture gets to you.
But he’s starting to win me over. I believe him when he says his probation violation was a misunderstanding. I think he’s looked sharp when he’s been able to relax in the pocket, something that will happen more frequently if and when he plays again. His patience for routes unfolding is impressive for such a young quarterback.
But, one hurdle at a time. He still has a Sept. 26 hearing to prove to the world whether he really learned from his mistakes.
Prediction 2: Terrell Owens will be selected as the NFL MVP.
The Dallas Cowboys are playing like future Super Bowl champions right now. Leading the way is everyone’s least-favorite drama queen, T.O. No. 81, now number two on the all-time career receptions list, looks as good or better right now than Randy Moss did last year.
Prediction 2a: I will make and lose a stupid bet against the Cowboys.
I hate the Dallas Cowboys more than I hate getting my teeth drilled by the dentist. The two NFL teams I like are the Redskins and whoever is playing the Cowboys. But I stand by my prediction that the Cowboys will have a huge year.
Knowing that I have the fury of a thousand suns against “America’s Team,” as their fans mistakenly like to call them, I’ll probably make some foolhardy bet with a friend about the Redskins beating the Cowboys, and I’ll probably lose. If you see me walking around Grounds with a shaved head or a “Romo is my homeboy” T-shirt this fall, you’ll know why.
Prediction 3: North Carolina will win the ACC.
I make this prediction not because I think UNC is particularly great, but because I don’t think anyone else in the ACC is particularly great. Clemson? They choke more than George W. Bush at a Snyder’s factory. Tech? They were barely able to play enough defense to stave off the Yellow Jackets. They might lose to Duke. Wake Forest? Their glory year already passed them by. Watch the ‘Heels. They’re pretty good in a pretty lousy conference.
Prediction 4: Virginia will upset East Carolina.
The Cavaliers have looked so bad these past few weeks that right now it probably seems positively loony to say something like this. But East Carolina is more beatable than its No. 15 position hints, and Virginia has more guts than a five-touchdown loss to UConn suggests. Look for Virginia to be regaining its footing just as the Pirates really start losing the wind from their sails. Could be a big win for the Orange and Blue.
Prediction 5: No mid-majors will crash the BCS this year.
Last week, East Carolina was the big little guy everyone was talking about, and this week it’s BYU. But both teams are worse than Hawaii was last year and Boise State was the year before that. The school with the best shot of proving this prediction wrong is the underrated Utah, which has enough challenges on its schedule to claim respectability but has nothing unbeatable to take on.
Prediction 6: Notre Dame will go to a bowl game and might even scratch the top 25 at some point.
Maybe it’s the copy of “Rudy” sitting on my DVD shelf that I’ve watched a dozen times or my two visits to Notre Dame’s beautiful campus or the fact that I’m double legacy at the school, but I have a soft spot for the Yankees of college football. They went 3-9 last year, their worst season in program history, but they still pulled in an amazing recruiting class and are starting to look a little bit sharp.
Prediction 7: Chad Ocho Cinco will be traded to a team where No. 85 is retired.
Now that The Receiver Formerly Known as Johnson has officially changed his name, you just know some cruel twist of fate is going to bring him somewhere where he has to suit up as number 89.
Ocho Cinco is a clown, which I mean in the best possible way. He seems to be one of few to remember that professional sports is first and foremost an entertainment industry.
I wish more athletes would have a foot-race against a racing horse (Ocho Cinco won) and challenge Michael Phelps to a swimming contest and make silly puns about opponents’ last names in press conferences. And I’d also like to see a few more athletes with a smirk as mischievous and warm as his.
Prediction 8: Virginia will go to a bowl game.
OK, now I’m just being ridiculous. I wouldn’t dare believe that the Cavaliers will cowboy up, turn things around and surprise us all again. That’s impossible.
Right?
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