In the world of dating, emotions run high with the promise of finding that someone special to waste your time with. These emotions can lead to all sorts of crazy shenanigans, such as prematurely saying the ‘L’ word. These, in turn, could destroy any chance of this budding relationship turning into full bloom. Now, to tackle all of the horrible ideas to avoid when embarking on your first few dates would take way too much effort on my part. Instead, I will give you a brief account of what not to do during one of the most pivotal events: the first kiss.
First off, never fist pump during the kiss. This might seem like a good idea at the time, but later you will realize that it had the stench of desperation written all over it, which is surely not your goal. Remember, you want passion, fire, magic ... not desperation.
Secondly, don’t scream “BOOYAH” right after you stop kissing. This is often uncontrollable, so there may not be much that you can do about preventing such an outburst. To mitigate the effect, however, try spinning in a circle as you say it and cough a bit during the crucial part. How you might explain the spinning I’m not sure, but coughing is pretty normal so you should be good on that front. Whatever your excuse for the spin may be, I’m sure it will be better than giving your significant other a full-blown “BOOYAH” to the face.
Finally, try to keep your cool with regards to post-kiss facial expressions. Though it may be difficult to keep yourself from smiling, try to keep it to a toothy grin instead of the full-face beam. This will let the other person know that, though enjoyable, it was not the highlight of your life, thus making you seem much cooler.
Actually, I take all that back. The last three paragraphs were things you shouldn’t bother controlling during or after a first kiss. As a matter of fact, there should be nothing you bother controlling. We spend most of our time at this college wondering how to manage our time so as to do a lot of things we really don’t care about while we could be wasting it doing things with the people we hold dear. But when it comes to love, everyone seems to cramp up just when we should be ready to run the race of our lives.
There are a lot of things in this life that can be imagined so vividly that it would almost seem as if they had happened. I, for example, have dunked on every member of the Virginia Tech basketball team no less than two dozen times. Love, however, is not a feeling that can be imagined or dreamed. It’s one of those things that each person has to live to know what it feels like. This is precisely why you shouldn’t hold back when getting excited about a kiss or a look or a hug or a nudge, or even when someone leans their head on your shoulder in that kind of awkward situation where you don’t know how to feel, because the prospect of love is something that no one can put a value on. It is a hope that what we are doing here is so much better than dreaming that we don’t ever want to go to sleep.
So go ahead: fist pump, scream, yell, shout, smile, laugh, dance, hop, skip, run, jump, fly. Do whatever it is that makes you happy and don’t worry about the rest, because there are few moments out there where you really know what it means to be alive. So don’t waste them worrying about how to stay cool. Drink them in as if you’ll never taste living again, and hold on to them.
Andy’s column runs biweekly Monday. He can be reached at a.taylor@cavalierdaily.com.
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