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Sports

The Commish

Roger Godell is doing a pretty decent job as the commissioner of the NFL but he can't do it forever. Someone is going to have to step up and replace him when the time comes. For a long time, I've been coming to a realization: That person is me. And when I become the commissioner, there are several changes I'd make immediately. The following is just a short list of the many tweaks I'd like to implement.

Roughing The Passer

I certainly understand the compulsion for the NFL to want to protect the guys that are the face of the league - the quarterbacks.

There is a point, however, where this goes too far. Like the flag Raven linebacker Terrell Suggs received for his "hit" on Tom Brady in Week Four. Absolutely ridiculous. To quote Ray Lewis, a man with whom I find myself rarely agreeing, "It is embarrassing to the game. Brady is good enough to make his own plays, let him make the play."

Perfectly said. It's football! People get hit! And I tell you, there is no person in the NFL that couldn't use a good hit more than Tom Brady. This guy, who has been sitting behind one of the best O-lines in the league for the past few years, has the nerve to say, "We're holding the ball. We're unprotected. You're sitting there defenseless ... They deserve to get flagged."

I think we should let Brady return a few punts or play fullback for a couple games. Then let's hear him talk about getting hit. If Brady had to line up in a three-point stance to play his position for a year, I bet he wouldn't appear on any more magazine covers.

Football is a game of inches and microseconds. Defensive linemen are in the game to do basically everything - and I mean everything - they can to get to the quarterback and keep him from throwing a good pass. How many times do you see this coming down to the blink of an eye - a defensive end just getting his hand out to tip a pass, or his fingers just barely grabbing on to the quarterback's jersey to prevent a long bomb downfield. All this while a 350-pound behemoth is bludgeoning him with two hammocks that could probably fell an oak tree. Now one time, the lineman gets there a blink of an eye too late, and the referees make a game-changing call because the quarterback, who is wearing a couple hundred dollars worth of protective equipment, might have gotten hit when he wasn't expecting it? That needs to stop.

I understand the idea that the quarterback can rarely see hits coming because his position requires him to keep his eyes downfield. I'm not suggesting the rule be completely eliminated, but it is called way too much.

Celebrations

I am actually OK with a lot of the antics that go on after a touchdown is scored. The Lambeau Leap is a classic. T.O.'s popcorn routine is one of my personal favorites. And of course, any kind of chest bumping is great.

My problem is their overuse. Celebrate when you actually do something worth celebrating. It seems like nowadays basically any play is cause for celebration. Receivers celebrate every catch, regardless of how many yards they gained. Defenders basically get excited WHENEVER they make a tackle. The ones that really drive me crazy are when a defensive guy celebrates a tackle on a 6-yard run. Get over yourself. You are already getting paid. Go make an actual play, then I'll watch you dance.

The NFL Draft

There absolutely needs to be a rookie salary cap. The amount of money guaranteed to the top draft picks in the NFL draft is absurd. It has gotten to the point where it is a handicap to have a pick early in the draft because teams are forced to blow tons of their salary cap space on a completely untested player who may not even start. If the player does start, he might not be any good. You can't even trade the spot away because no other team wants to be stuck with it. The salary cap room isn't keeping up with the rate by which the rookie's guaranteed money is increasing. The money is being taken away from proven veterans and given to untested rookies. It needs to be the other way around.

Overtime

This is every NFL spectator's favorite thing to harp on - probably because it's such an obvious flaw that even the most dim-witted Eagles fan grasps its fault.

The current rule is that if the score is tied at the end of regulation, a 15-minute sudden death overtime period is played. If at the end of that period, the score is still even, the game ends in a tie - just ask Donovan McNabb.

The winner of a coin toss gets the choice to kick or receive the ball - the second option being almost universally the most popular even for those whose lobotomy scar hasn't yet completely healed.

It is this coin toss that has everyone in such a tizzy. Looking at the statistics since the current rules have been in place (1974), there isn't significant evidence that the team receiving the ball has an edge. In recent history, however, this trend has changed, with the kickoff line moving from the 40-yardline to the 30, which gives receiving teams better field position. Furthermore, field goal accuracy increased by a drastic 20 percent between 2003 and 2008. During this time, teams winning the coin toss in overtime have won 62 percent of the time - a far more significant margin.

Even without this statistic, it just seems unfair that a team might lose in overtime without ever getting its hands on the ball. Most fans will lament, "Why doesn't the NFL just do it like the NCAA?"

Frankly, I find that set of rules silly, too. The college rules are analogous to soccer's shootout: arbitrary and fairly unrepresentative of the actual sport. There are, however, many ideas that are fairer and contain more pure football.

How about using the same rules, except instead of sudden death, the winner is the first team to six points?

Or you could use the same rules except eliminate the possibility of field goals.

Another option is to have the game end when the score is no longer tied after each team has had an equivalent number of possessions - what a novel concept!

Perhaps, instead of having the winner of the coin toss electing to kick or receive, the team chooses either to start with the ball on its own 15, or have the opponent start with the ball on the opponent's 15.

Or instead of one 15-minute sudden death period, have two six-minute periods, each team kicking off once. The team that is leading after the two periods wins.

Maybe the most obvious - but least creative - is to extend the game by one 15 minute period if the game is tied at the end of regulation - no sudden death. Or just not even extend the game. A tie is a tie. Too much like soccer?

Of course my favorite - and honestly I think it's in keeping with the spirit of modern football - is to have each coach secretly submit a yard-line to the officials from which he is willing to get possession of the ball. The team submitting the worst field position gets the ball at that yard-line.

Throwback Jerseys

I'm a big fan of throwbacks. Usually they are just old-looking jerseys. Sometimes they just have different designs; other times they have different colors all together. The idea is fun and unique.

The operative word here is unique. The trend I don't like is where it becomes more common for a team to wear throwbacks than for it to wear its regular jersey. Whether it's the Jets wearing their "Real Titans of New York" jerseys or the Denver Broncos' AFL-version uniforms.

I like the uniforms - the blue and mustard Eagles' jerseys of a few years ago notwithstanding - but I really would like to be able to recognize which team is playing when I'm watching a game.

I know it's the AFL's 50th anniversary, so we are all celebrating. But this was a problem even before this year. I wouldn't mind some kind of regulation that allows a team only one or two special uniforms a year. I want to keep it a special occasion.

Passer Rating

I want to start out by referring you to the formula used to calculate this mysterious statistic.

My biggest problem with this number is its complexity and incorrect usage. First off, it is so difficult to understand that few fans even grasp the implications of the number. Sure - it's some value between 0 and 158.3 - a fairly obvious scale, right? The higher, the better. A higher number means a better quarterback? That's pretty much true - but it's not universal.

The other problem with the QB rating is its usage. Too often a passer rating is cited for a particular game or even a particular quarter or half. That is not how this statistic is supposed to be used. It is a long-term, holistic measurement. Like ERA in baseball. Career and seasonal passer ratings make more sense. But even those are a bit loosey-goosey. Some of the finishers in the top 100 all-time career pass ratings (more than 1,500 pass attempts) are: Chad Pennington at number 9, Trent Green at 16, David Garrard at 18, Marc Bulger at 19, and Jeff George at 44. The quarterbacks all finished ahead of John Elway (48) and Johnny Unitas (58).

Thursday Night Football

There shouldn't be such a thing. There is gameday and there is Monday Night. Period. This is the NFL, not the NBA. Who even remembers to set their fantasy lineups by Thursday night? And on the topic of gameday, why won't they televise two 4:15 games? Are they afraid we can't handle it?

Give it 10 years or so, and I'll have the face of the NFL changed. Until then, sports fans, keep your Thursday evenings open and your calculators at the ready.

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