PDA - not that little handheld computer, the more controversial one. The one that occurs with dating, or not dating. Where do you and your significant other stand? Cute? Disgusting? Just plain awkward?
As I get older, I see more and more of my friends begin to date. This rejection of the otherwise ever-present hookup culture leads to more relationships. Cue displays of affection, and more specifically, public displays of affection. It seems that PDA becomes milder as the length of relationship increases. Making out becomes just holding hands. Long passionate kisses become small pecks.
In new relationships, though, some girls seem to be marking their newly claimed territory. Maybe the guy is just trying to show his sweet side or prove he's really into her. Nevertheless, obsessive PDA is simply uncalled for.
As an observer, misdemeanor PDA can be made a felony when you realize you know the guy or girl involved, or even worse, you used to date one of them. I still recognize both members of a couple I saw involved in awkward PDA in the quad more than a year ago. They're forever in my mind as "that couple." Don't be that couple.
But I realize that sometimes you just can't keep your hands off each other. Perhaps your love is so strong that you can't bear not to be in his lap while you're waiting at the bus stop. Try to keep in mind, though, that there are four particular places on Grounds where PDA is straight-up wrong.
1. Student Health: Yes, I agree your boyfriend looks so much hotter with that paper mask around his face. So irresistible, just like Patrick Dempsey. Oh wait, he's not a doctor or an actor playing a doctor. He's a potential swine-flu victim. I totally understand why you'd find him particularly appealing at this moment. I'll blame you when the outbreak reemerges. If that weren't enough of a reason why PDA in Student Health is wrong, consider the other people in the waiting room. Some of them are likely nauseous, so please don't push them over the edge. Show some consideration before you decide to get it on in Student Health. This type of celebration should only be reserved for negative results on an STD test, not the waiting room.
2. The library: That's not what the couches in the McGregor Room are for. Hooking up isn't like talking when it comes to libraries. It isn't acceptable on the second floor of Clem or in Clark stacks. Libraries are for studying, even socializing, but not getting it on. I understand that for some people, hooking up in stacks is on the to-do list before graduation. But it's exciting because it's clandestine, not out in the open. If you really must, go to the Alderman stacks, not Clark, because it's much less crowded. I recently got lost in Alderman and ended up on the first floor. Somehow I ended up in a hallway of refrigerators, books and old desks. I didn't see a soul down there. Private? Check. Explore Alderman a little; there are plenty of isolated places.
3. The dining hall: Newcomb's food is gross enough without you getting it on at the table next to me. Is it burrito night that particularly turns you on? PDA in the dining hall is just not right. So close to the food and people consuming it? Please. Don't do it where you eat.
4. The bus: It's happened to you. You're taking the Inner Loop route home. There are a few other people on the bus, including a couple. All the other people get off the bus at Alderman. It's just you and the couple. You're awkwardly facing them while they're sucking face. It's like a car accident; you can't not watch. It's worse than being a third-wheel to your friends because you don't know these people. It's painfully uncomfortable. Do you watch out of the corner of your eye? Do they even notice you glaring at them? How inappropriate would it be if you started laughing? This situation could be entirely avoided if they'd just kept it to a minimal hand-holding.
New couples, when you find yourselves in any of these places, please remember common courtesy. At places like fraternity houses and bars, the standards for what constitutes PDA are higher. People go in knowing that they're going to see some things they might not want to see. Couples might get some looks of intrigue, but they'll likely avoid looks of disgust - unless what they're doing is particularly vulgar.
So please, just keep it PG. At the very least, avoid the locations I mentioned earlier. Your friends and fellow peers will be glad you did. It might even lead to a better relationship.
Abbi can be reached at a.sigler@cavalierdaily.com.
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