The final breaths of the semester have come and gone. As many students temporarily place their belongings in local storage units and procrastinate unpacking those big, blue IKEA bags, some sentimental goodbyes for the summer seem a bit rushed. After nine months spent on Grounds, a number of University students are eager to return home to something — or better yet, someone.
I’m sure you can guess who I’m referring to — the classic hometown summer fling, a victory lap, if you will. For some, this may be the senior year situationship that is never “really” over, or maybe the barista at your local Starbucks that you matched with on Hinge. For me, this is my ex — who, conveniently, has lingered on my Snapchat best friends list long enough for us to schedule some summertime plans.
As if it’s muscle memory, I find my fingers typing away, asking what day he gets home and admittedly, responding enthusiastically should he mention a potential beach day or trip to our favorite lobster roll stand. Just like that, I have successfully rebooted my high school sweetheart into a seasonal sequel entitled “Summertime Fling.”
For many, the idea of a revived summer romance is a guilty pleasure of sorts. After all, half of the appeal of a revamped romance is knowing that you shouldn’t be doing it. With that being said, there is a specific thrill that comes from sneaking around your childhood home again. After a long year of being a pseudo-adult college student, slipping back into your 17-year-old persona feels pretty good.
The regressive nature of a hometown fling reboot is that it feels safe. It feels familiar. In fact, much of its appeal results from how different they feel compared to college flirtations. Gone are the awkward conversations on Trin 2 and uncovering cryptic text messages from your fraternity situationship, replaced instead by someone who already knows your order at the local bagel shop. But while these familiar flings thrive off of flirtatious sunscreen application and the spontaneous “I’m craving some ice cream” texts — yes, both moves I have previously employed — let’s not pretend that they’re exempt from emotional attachment. That being said, before you decide to dive head-first into a “casual” repeat romance, it’s important to consider the risks.
Though we want to illusion ourselves to believe that our rekindled summer loves are all in good fun and as casual as can be, hot nights can cool off quite quickly as those old feelings start to creep back in. And keep in mind, the changes that college has brought upon each of us can make these revived emotions even more tumultuous than the first go-round.
Hometown loves easily fall between the past and present versions of ourselves, positioning us in a constant state of flux between the two. Therefore, we are apt to conveniently forget about our un-callused college persona as we settle back into sharing a bathroom with our siblings and romanticize our high school haunts.
Despite having only been home for a week, I have already begun to learn this lesson the hard way. My current relationship status feels like a liminal space — I am stuck halfway between my independent Charlottesville personality and the teenage self I’d shed while at school — running back to my ex sure does not help me unblur those lines. I’ve suddenly had to come face-to-face with the uncomfortable truth that while this rekindling is convenient, it is far from progress. Like popping an Advil for the growing pains of collegiate life, I realized that revisiting ex-lovers often can only provide a temporary relief.
Still, I cannot help but fall for a summer love once again. And perhaps, this is the time to make the mistakes that push us to grow even more. We all crave the feeling of being known and understood, and returning to those people who saw us before we entered this phase of our lives can be a valuable stroll down memory lane. So, I say that while it is important to consider the risks, it can only do so much harm to satisfy those cravings for a few short months.
All in all, summer flings might not be built to last, but maybe they do not have to. Instead, maybe they exist to remind us of what we need now, and what we have now outgrown. Either way, you’ll have a good story to tell at Midsummers or the Block Party pregame next fall and, perhaps, a sense of closure you hadn’t realized you’d been longing for.
So, go ahead — reach out to the person you promised your roommates you wouldn’t. Whether it ends in regrets or profound realization, the summer days will drift away leaving you knowing yourself a bit better.
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