In college, some people work hard on their studies. Some spend their nights out partying. Some, the lucky amongst us, manage to fall in love and maybe even begin dating someone. It always starts out great — the chemistry is off the charts, all you can think about is each other, you spend every free moment together. You sit around talking about funny memories, watching movies together and cuddling, much to the chagrin of your slightly irritated roommate.
As the honeymoon phase draws to an end and assignments ramp up, you find the unthinkable happening — you can no longer spend 25 out of your 24 hours per day with them. They do not, in fact, love it when you talk about the deep lore of “Star Wars” for an entire 50 minutes, even though the series changed your life and altered your DNA. You two may even experience truly unthinkable lows, like finding out your significant other thinks the Jan. 6 Capitol riot was a noble act of patriotism.
And then, the new semester starts and they hit you with a metaphorical truck, leaving you metaphorically bleeding out on the side of the road. For whatever reason, they cannot be with you anymore. Maybe it is because they realized they think they can do better, or they lost attraction to you or they are “not in a position to commit to you” — whatever that means. Nevermind the fact that they were willing to work through multiple huge arguments, drop everything to be there for you when you were sad or stay up until 6 a.m. talking with you. It simply is not working out, and they are very sorry but it all has to end now.
So maybe you call all your friends, sobbing into the phone, or you lay in bed, unable to sleep because your head hurts from wailing. Or you stare at your phone, waiting for your ex to text you, hoping that they will have changed their mind. Or you start working out, hoping that they’ll take you back if you get more attractive. Or you start extensively studying that one video game they played for eight hours a day so you can get really good at it and maybe if you can carry them they’ll take you back. This may sound oddly specific, but it’s actually just a general example that can apply to most people that definitely does not relate to me.
Sadly, your phone stays silent and you are left waiting like a child in a grocery store. Maybe you lay in bed, snot and tears streaming down your face in a majestic waterfall as you think about all the memories you had together, like how every time you called they only talked about themselves and forgot everything about you including your birthday.
You might be constantly looking for a way to get over your ex immediately, but the sad news is that you are even more delusional than your friends may say you are if you believe that can happen. Unfortunately, you have a lovely season of snot and tears waiting for you. You should prepare to acquaint yourself with tissues, as they will become your best friend in these trying times. You’ll go through a myriad of emotions like grief, sorrow, anger and an overwhelming desire for vengeance as you realize you can do way better and that in reality they didn’t treat you well at all.
However, as terrifying as it sounds, there’s nothing to fear. You will learn what happiness feels like again, believe it or not. Surround yourself with family and friends. Pick up a hobby, new or old, and let yourself be sad now and then, because that’s how life is. And when you look at that stuffed duckie from your ex in the corner of your room and don’t feel like you’re being stabbed a thousand times in the gut, that’s when you’ll know you’ve moved on.
Finally, when the semester starts again, maybe you will be ready to experience the greatest love of all — loving yourself. But that’s a topic for another article.
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