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(01/19/17 5:14am)
He was free to touch whatever he wanted. The grandparents were OK with that. They drew the line, though, at having their affairs strewn about the house. The wax doves from the centerpiece were unceremoniously tossed over the edge of the table and had their wings snapped off upon contact with the floor, the roll of toilet paper unspooled down the hall and the spatula lay drool-covered at the bottom of the stairwell like some poor murder victim tossed into a gulch (both the spatula and the murder victim bore the teeth-marks of the guilty psychopath — the toddler was still teething).
(12/05/16 7:00am)
Two weeks ago Saturday, the Honor Committee confirmed something I’ve long suspected about the University: we care more about bureaucracy than students. Sitting in the audience of the first public Honor trial in years, I watched for hours as Honor representatives and a jury of peers grilled an international student. Absent from this examination, though, were some key pieces of evidence.
(09/15/16 10:23am)
Let’s face the music, kids: I am extremely popular.
(05/09/16 1:52pm)
It was with a mix of pleasure and anger that I read about President Barack Obama’s recent announcement that he will create the first national monument to gay rights at the Stonewall Inn bar in New York’s West Village, the site of the 1969 riots and the “birthplace of America’s modern gay liberation movement.” Pleasure in seeing that, after 45 years, the LGBT community has begun to be recognized as the site of the most explosive change since the Civil Rights Movement. Rage, however, at the historical inaccuracies, which fall somewhere between lazy and inexcusable.
(03/17/16 5:16am)
Recently I have taken it upon myself to ask my friends what they like to eat. The variety of the answers shocks me: for breakfast, as an example, my friends eat eggs, bagels, bacon, kale, spinach, cereal, toast, avocado, yogurt, granola, berries, pancakes, waffles, apple, banana, crackers, cream cheese, salmon, tortilla and cheese; they adorn these foods with ketchup, jam, peanut butter, honey, mustard, sriracha or salt; and then they wash it all down with tea, coffee, orange or grape cranberry or pomegranate juice, milk, citrus juice, smoothie or water. And this list comes from a single meal of the day, and traditionally the one with the least amount of variety. Things get even crazier for lunch.
(09/10/15 4:05am)
During this first week in Lyon I have learned that universal good and universal evil are concentrated into two avatars: for goodness, a French translation of Virginia Woolf’s masterpiece, “Mrs. Dalloway”; for evil, a suave Norwegian teen named Cedric.
(03/25/15 4:26am)
There is but one self-evident course of action for the U.Va. community in the wake of the arrest of Martese Johnson. I know I will have the support of my fellow students when I hereby request the withdrawal of every minority student from the University of Virginia.
(02/12/15 4:54am)
In the 1982 documentary "All by Myself," Eartha Kitt is asked: “If a man came into your life, wouldn’t you want to compromise?” She cackles and responds, “Stupid.” We cannot all be Eartha Kitt (I have tried, but the DMV said you can’t change your first and last names at the same time). But maybe this Valentine’s Day we should try to emulate her, to get a fat slice of that sweet and unapologetic self-love.
(12/01/14 5:04am)
“After we march down Rugby Road and chant and vent our anger to the world, we must lay down our picket signs, sit down at our computers and educate ourselves about the complexities we are dealing with. Read the new sexual misconduct policy. Read about Title IX. Read about how to be a victim’s advocate. Come to the discussion table and listen to other people’s opinions.”
(11/20/14 6:26am)
Imagine a hellscape in which the rigid borders of open suitcases lie like vipers under a quilt of laundry. Only God in Heaven knows which of these clothes are dirty and which are clean. The only certain thing in this cabinet of horror is that any visitor is sure to step on the hard casing on luggage or, if he is unlucky, a spoon still sticky with lentil soup.