Why would I possibly wake up an hour before a class began, when rolling out of bed three to five minutes prior was also acceptable?
Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there lived a pretty chill girl named Snow Wahoo. In fact, she was the chillest girl in all the land.
Ultimately, even though this is unrecognized financial genius, it looks like he will never be able to carry out my plan.
What if I had just gotten dumped and was trying to get over my ex by listening to an empowering break-up playlist, only to be accosted by the selfie of him and I that I just had deleted from my Facebook?
I don’t smile with my tongue anymore. I threw away my Burt’s Bee medicated lip balm. My lips are so chapped.
With a wave of students thrown into disarray and confusion from these findings, teachers, doctors and educational experts are working to offer alternative locations for studying.
Faced with the threat of unemployment, I developed a plan.
A young boy watched as the last crop withered in his hands. “How did this happen?” he asked. “How did nobody notice this coming?”
I don’t think it’s possible for us to expect less of our school. This is a “u up?” text message at 3:00 am. This is the bare minimum.
Below is a retelling of actual events within the private residence of The White House at 6:15 a.m.
His tiny sleeves tore from the force within: the force of the toddlers’ rippling muscles, the bodybuilder of a baby they created.
I would say sorry, but I’m sure you understand. It’s finals.
Okay, it’s been a few weeks. We can talk about it now, right? We’ve taken time to mourn, and now we all walk into the nearest bookstore and pick up our copies of, “So, Your Next President Is A Total Bigot.” In your post-election turmoil, you might be wondering: What do we do now?
We need to stop jinxing the Mona Lisa
All of the loud, elephantine, seemingly endless Trump supporters, I need you to shut up
It’s stupidly easy to influence kids.
I will admit it is easy to put a vampire costume together. All I needed was a slinky black dress, a cape and fake teeth.
Quit being racist. Seriously. Stop it. Freaking cut it out.
There’s so much exciting new Drake out there right now. Go forth and enjoy all of it.
My fellow Americans, the time is nearly upon us. Every four years, our nation comes together to elect our next president.
