If you ever need me postgrad, you know how to reach me, though it’s unlikely I’ll be able to hear you over the sound of how well I’m doing.
Nucular is just not a word, and I can be silent no longer. This is a national issue, one that I will fight tirelessly, until I get tired, and then I’ll probably let it go.
In that case, crush up some Claritin and let’s get weird! It’s springtime, baby!
I never used to want to be president. It always seemed like a lot of work.
In any case, I suspected I might now find myself in trouble with the IRS.
Faced with the threat of unemployment, I developed a plan.
If you or anyone you know would like to help me acquire one of these or literally any career, feel free to contact me.
Okay, it’s been a few weeks. We can talk about it now, right? We’ve taken time to mourn, and now we all walk into the nearest bookstore and pick up our copies of, “So, Your Next President Is A Total Bigot.” In your post-election turmoil, you might be wondering: What do we do now?
The other day, I had to go get a flu shot. Plagued by a lifelong fear of needles, I was not too keen on this idea, but my mom said I had to do it, and as with all children and their mothers, I am pretty scared of her.
If stress or anxiety seems to be taking over your life, consider purchasing a tiny cactus
