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Serving the University Community Since 1890

Lee Camp

Putting to words the point of the last four years

On May 19th, many of us triumphantly will walk down the center of the Lawn to receive our diplomas after what has seemed like at least 17 years at this University. However, we will not truly have completed all the tests meant to see if we are worthy of graduation from this prestigious college, and by "prestigious" I of course mean "precipitous," and by "precipitous" I clearly don't know what I mean (I didn't learn that much while I've been here). The final test is to see if we are able to sit through two hours of boring speeches at the graduation ceremony.

It's so hard to say goodbye

It is with great pleasure that I present to you Lee Camp's Final Humor Column. I sincerely urge you to hold on to it because it clearly will be worth a great deal in the future - in a couple years I plan on kidnapping various neighborhood pets and forcing them to join me in a national crime spree, and just imagine how impressed your grandchildren will be when you say, "I actually have a copy of Crazy Lee Camp's final humor column." You may not realize it, but because I said "I urge you" in the last paragraph, random large, effeminate men are currently trying to wash my hair with Herbal Essences Shampoo.

Hoos sick of the same old traditions?

T his is the second to last humor column of my college career. Tragically, that means I only have two columns left to speak to my vast array of die-hard fans (meaning they're fans of the movie "Die Hard," not of me). Painfully, it also means I have but two columns left for which The Declaration can make fun of me.

Cooling the itch in the sleepless city of fruit and produce

About a month ago I started getting that itch that college students get over winter break. You know, the one that starts bugging you while you're sitting on a couch that you haven't moved from in so long your skin has begun to graft itself to the leather.

Remembering the tricks and treats of childhood

When I saw all the cute little toddlers in crazy costumes marching from door to door and stuffing their mouths with candy, I have to say I was a little frightened because it was two days after Halloween.

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