A ha! This is it. Finally, after two months of being the Thursday columnist, I get the chance to come out on Tuesday.
In the recent hubbub over University athletics, a lot of words have been thrown around. Keep track.
Well, my time as a sports columnist is quickly coming to an end, and I would be remiss not to write at least one NBA draft column.
It was a story that could only have taken place in Hollywood. Now it will! That's right. Faced with the imminent writer's strike, the film industry is looking for easy-to-pen real-life stories that will fill the silver screen with cinematic gold.
I'm beginning to think that maybe April is the cruelest month - at least in the sports world, that is.
These people must be stopped. Once again, corruption, large egos and rising salaries threaten to destroy a sport that we all know and love. The images are all ingrained into our memories: the crack of the bat, the expansive green outfield, the perfect spin of an expertly thrown flipper or googly.
This weekend, I realized that I really, really don't like women's basketball. Now before the National Organization for Women starts to deluge me with letters proclaiming me a misogynist, let me explain.
I had this really elaborate statistical analysis planned out for this week. It really was top-notch.
Maybe I'm the not the most qualified person to write this column. I've never seen a NASCAR race in its entirety.
Every good literary character has a crucial moment of moral conflict in which they must question themselves and their intentions. Raskolnikov, in "Crime and Punishment": Do I go against all notions of humanity and brutally murder this Russian pawnbroker? Pontius Pilate, in the Bible: Do I go against the heavens and crucify the Son of God? Me, in this column: Do I go against everything which is good and just and pull for the UNC men's basketball team? Those of you who think that my dilemma is any less serious obviously weren't raised in ACC country.
