I skipped four classes last week. Sorry, Mom and Dad.
Three of these were planned — I was going out of town for the weekend, and my trip was definitely worth it. The fourth one, however, was entirely unplanned. But, it was also definitely worth it.
I had planned to get coffee with a friend of mine whom I hadn’t seen in a while, and I figured 10 a.m. would be a suitable time to meet up before my 11 a.m. class. But once we sat down on the top floor of Para (oh, I mean Grit Coffee — what? — that’s a topic for later discussion), it soon became apparent that a half hour was not going to suffice.
Before I entered the coffee shop I had been drowning in all sorts of thoughts about everything I had to do that day to prepare for leaving that weekend, but not too far into my conversation with my friend, all those thoughts vanished. I forgot we had been the only two people talking upstairs and others could likely hear our conversation. I forgot I needed to send 10 emails, read 200 pages, pack for the weekend and write two response posts. I forgot the world existed outside of our little two-person table.
I had no way of telling time because neither of us was looking at our phones and I wasn’t wearing a watch, but I had a feeling that 11 a.m. had come and gone. At one point, I considered checking the time to see if I had to go to class, but I recognized how that would have played out.
I would have interrupted an important topic, realized I needed to run to class, left in a hurry, and who knows, maybe we never would have continued the conversation. My friend probably wouldn’t have felt as valued and my day would have gone right back to its hectic meaninglessness. So, I made the decision to let it go and be completely present in our conversation, without worrying about how long it was taking or where I had to be next.
And it was incredible. When I finally did look at the clock, over two hours had gone by without any feelings of anxiety or thoughts about what was next on the to-do list. I left feeling refreshed, and I ended up doing everything I needed to do with more mental clarity.
To contextualize, I am currently taking a Buddhist meditation class, so I have spent lots of time trying to lose track of time, be present in the moment and banish my thoughts. Let me tell you, it isn’t easy.
I spend so much time worrying about everything I need to do and micro-managing all of my tasks that I am always focused on what is coming next. Sometime last week I made a to-do list on my nightstand that included “make a to-do list.” That must say something about the neuroticism with which I plan my life.
I think all of these to-do lists are going to give me mental calm, and in some ways they do because crossing things off lists in red pen is incredibly satisfying. But I think the real answer may lie in a strange paradox — in order to stop worrying about things needing to get done, we need to take the time to clear our heads.
Of course, we can’t spend all our time avoiding what needs to be done, but I think we would be mistaken if we didn’t let ourselves occasionally press the pause button on the constant parade of tasks and assignments that come our way.
Kelly’s column runs biweekly Tuesdays. She can be reached at k.seegers@cavalierdaily.com.
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