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What a quick turnaround

A nightmare for over-thinkers

Over winter break, I got an email about an RA position that had opened up in new dorms. Being an RA had been one of the things I’d wanted to do ever since I got to Grounds my first year. So of course I applied — but then ended up on the waitlist. After a semester on the waitlist, I had lost hope of ever becoming an RA. Then, out of the blue, an email was sitting in my inbox one fine morning, about two days before I was due to come back to Charlottesville for the start of the spring semester.

I remember sitting there surprised — I had never considered this would be a possibility. I was well settled in upperclassmen dorms, loved my roommates and had established a pretty solid routine for myself that I was actually looking forward to resuming. Furthermore, I had already signed a lease to live off-Grounds next year and knew it would be terrible to back out on my friends.

Yet here was this email asking me to pick up and move to a new dorm far away and be the “new kid” (and ironically so since I am a second year). I was going to be a leader and a mentor to 20 or so girls who were complete strangers to me. As an outsider, I was going to have to awkwardly wedge myself in with these girls who were probably already well settled and didn’t need me.

On the other hand, it was an offer for a job I had wanted since first year. It was an opportunity to do everything I’d dreamed about (no matter how cheesy that sounds), even though I’d only be able to be with these residents for the second half of the year.

Entering the dorm in the spring could be strange because first semester is when bonds are really made in dorms. When residents are scared and lonely because they’re away from their home for the first time, they turn to their RA. Somewhere in this fear and dependency, however, a bond is formed. Although I don’t think a relationship can only be formed when someone is vulnerable, I thought it could be hard to connect with my residents if they already had bonds with someone closer and more familiar to them.

In the end, I couldn’t let go of the opportunity. Even though it would only be for a semester and I didn’t know what to expect and had no prior training, I knew this job would make me happy. In this situation, there was nothing better to do than just close my eyes and take the plunge into the unknown.

From the moment I made the decision, I started to plan out whatever I would need to do to make this move go smoothly. I find it hard to ask people for help because I always want to do things myself. I constantly have this fear in the back of my head that I am being a burden — in this situation, however, there was no way I could do without an extra hand. I would have to swallow my pride, my fear of being a nuisance, and just ask for help. I knew one of my roommates had a car and when I asked her to help me move my belongings, she kindly offered her assistance.

It was sort of a whirlwind, thinking back on it. I have now been in my new role and dorm for two weeks and it already feels normal. Within three days I had packed, moved in, met with my hall and been consulted about a roommate problem. Then and there, I knew I still had a job to do because these girls felt more secure with a person of authority around. So far, it is still hard to tell whether or not I am as good at this as I want to be. Despite this quick turnaround, I feel as if this new environment is natural — which ­­­seems to be a good sign. 

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