"We should try to spread love throughout the University community."
"What?" I looked up from the ATM where I was attempting to withdraw funds to support my 16-ounce-a-day caffeine habit.
My friend Emily grinned at me, "I was just saying that we should conduct a little experiment. We should walk around smiling and say hello to everyone. You know, be super nice to everyone, and see if we can spread some kindness around."
I took the funds the money machine proffered.
"Do you really think that if we smile at people as we walk down Rugby, we'll make the University a better place?"
"It's worth a try," she told me. "We can look at it as a sociological experiment if you want."
I pondered the idea of walking the streets with a dopey grin on my face, greeting everyone I came across. I felt dumb just thinking about it, but it was a noble enough experiment and so I agreed to give it a try.
Emily and I enlisted the aid of a few other friends and decided that we would attempt to bring a little extra happiness to the people we encountered for the next week.
"You're going to do what?" my roommate asked incredulously when I told her of my plan.
"I'm going to smile at everyone and say hello to strangers and stuff."
Jen started to laugh. "You won't do it," she declared.
"Why not?" I challenged.
"I don't know, you're just not the type."
I wondered what she meant by that. Was she implying that I'm not the type to be nice? That I'm not a friendly person? Or just that I don't generally speak to strangers?
Whatever she meant, I wasn't happy about it. I'm sure she wasn't saying that I'm a bad person or anything, but I didn't want to be classified by my best friend as one who would never be expected to smile brightly and encouragingly at a stranger.
I resolved to take this experiment seriously and to win over everyone with my raging friendliness.
The next morning I sat down next to a total stranger in my ENGL 382 survey course. I shot her a big grin and asked
brightly, "How are you doing today?"
My voice sounded kind of high, but since she was a total stranger I figured she wouldn't know the difference.
The girl gave me a little smile back, "I'm doing good, thanks." There was a long pause during which time she squinted at me and then asked cautiously, "Do we know each other?"
"I don't think so," I told her.
"Oh ..." she offered a crooked smile before hunching down over her notebook and turning slightly away from me. I tried not to take it personally.
Later, as I walked to the library I smiled at any passerby. I even said "Hi!" to a number of perfect strangers. My efforts yielded a profusion of funny looks and one wink, but not one hello.
For days I tried in vain to get someone to accept my friendly overtures, to return a smile, greeting, or even just a good vibe. I tried everywhere: by the chapel, on Rugby, on the Corner, central Grounds, Newcomb, the Chemistry Building, but no one seemed open to my friendliness. I hoped my friends were having better luck spreading kindness.
A week later we were all sitting around eating dinner when I inquired as to their success with our project. They looked at me sheepishly and admitted that they'd forgotten to share goodness and love with the world during the week.
In an attempt to appease me, my friend Mary Beth told me of the unexpected friendliness she'd encountered in U-Hall a few days earlier.
"I was in the [U-Hall] parking lot and this random guy just started talking to me..." she began.
"Did you treat him like he was nuts?" I interrupted. "Because everyone I tried to be nice to acted like I was psycho."
Mary Beth shook her head, "No, I didn't think he was weird. He was really cute. If he'd been funny looking I probably would have thought he was a freak, but he was attractive so I just thought he was nice."
"Are you saying I'm ugly?" I challenged.
"No! I'm just saying that he was good-looking and I thought that it was nice that he decided talk to me, a total stranger."
"Okay," I sighed.
"Hey Kate, if you want I can be nice to some people tomorrow," Emily offered.
I shrugged my shoulders, "No, that's okay."
I went home dejected. I had failed to spread goodwill among the masses. In order to deal with my pain I curled up in my bed, the vocal styling of Aimee Mann filling the room as I stared out the window.
When my roommate found me an hour later she laughed for five minutes before speaking. "What is wrong with you?"
I rolled over and took a deep breath, "It's so very hard being a super-friendly person. You're misunderstood and under-appreciated. Being nice is a thankless job."
She snickered, "But someone's got to do it, right?"
"I guess," I whimpered.
"Obviously you're just not cut out for the job."
My pain was obviously amusing her. "A person clearly needs thicker skin if they're going to be the Queen of Nice."
Although I hated to admit it, she had a point. Being nice ain't easy, it takes a strong person to be able to ooze kindness at all times. I'm just not cut out for the job.
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