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College women prove they can be N'Sync with teen-bop generation

Sunday evening, as I was attempting to study, my roommate Jen threw open the door to my room, waving a CD over her head.

"I got it, I got it," she shouted. "It took me five days, but I finally got it!"

I glanced at her side of the wall, covered in posters, and instantly knew what she was raving about. My best friend, a reasonably sane 20-year-old, just had purchased the new 'N Sync album.

"Wow, that's ... great," I said.

"I know! I'm so psyched. I can't stop smiling," she continued in her revelry. "I was so bummed when I didn't get the CD when it came out on Tuesday, but now it's mine."

Indeed the CD was hers, and for the next five hours or so I heard nothing but five-part harmonies designed to bring a throng of pre-pubescent girls to their knees. Seeking respite from the men of 'N Sync, I headed to the other room to watch the Academy Awards. I have horrible timing, because the first thing I saw (and heard) when I flipped to the program was 'N Sync and Gloria Estefan belting out their Oscar-nominated duet.

It was a painful experience but not at all surprising. I'm sorry to say, but I'm quite familiar with 'N Sync and its body of work. Posters of the group adorn my roommate's walls. One of the boys, J.C., (or "my J.C." as Jen refers to him) serves as wallpaper on her laptop.

Another of my friends has a video tape - which I have been forced to watch on numerous occasions - of her appearance on MTV's "Total Request Live" where she declared her love for all the boys in the band, but most especially for Justin (or as she likes to say, "the only guy on earth worth giving up everything for").

I've resigned myself to the fact that I never will be able to forget the lyrics to "Drive Myself Crazy" and "Tearin' Up My Heart." Still, the thought of adding a whole new batch of ditties to my 'N Sync repertoire was unnerving.

Truthfully, I knew the day I would be forced to ingest more of the pre-fab pop band's vocal stylings was fast approaching. Over Spring Break, every time I turned on the television I was confronted with the five boys' smiling mugs. They made no less than three appearances on MTV, attracting a crowd of thousands to the network's Times Square studios. When they weren't on in the flesh, the "Bye, Bye, Bye" video was playing.

All the while viewers were reminded that Tuesday, March 21, the band's sophomore CD would hit the shelves.

'N Sync didn't promote itself just on the network which of late seems fueled by the whims of 12-year-olds, though. It also showed up on "Rosie O'Donnell," "Good Morning America," "Saturday Night Live," and just about every other New York City-filmed show where they could wear denim jackets and jump around while belting out their new single.

When one of the band's members dared call himself and his compatriots musicians, I tried to remember when I'd seen them playing instruments.

The marketplace saturation didn't end on the airwaves, though. Oh no. It was featured on the cover of Rolling Stone and several other entertainment magazines. TV Guide even put out an issue with five covers, each one featuring a different boy. N'SYNC seemed inescapable, and it was driving me crazy.

I just don't get this whole boy band thing. How do five regretfully-dressed boys who don't play their own instruments, with only a rudimentary grasp of the English language (despite the fact that they're American), who aren't even that cute, bring millions of females to tears?

I'll admit that occasionally one of their songs is catchy and enjoyable to dance to, but on the whole their music is quite mediocre.

I was babysitting the other day when the little girl I was watching played me the music of her second favorite band (next to 'N Sync of course): LFO. Her favorite song by the boys was entitled "Girl on TV" and featured the poetic and profound lyric, "Shooby doo wap and Scooby snacks..."

Excuse me, but what does that mean exactly?

Whatever my complaints about the boy band phenomenon may be, and however loud other critics of the groups may be, we are clearly in a minority. The success these boys have achieved is staggering, especially when one considers how many sound-alike bands there are on the market these days.

According to sources at Jive records and Soundscan, 'N Sync's new album, "No Strings Attached," has sold over two million copies in its first week of release - a record-breaking opening week (the old record was held by the Backstreet Boys' "Millennium").

In fact, the gents of 'N Sync reportedly moved one million copies of their latest effort in their first day on the market alone. Likewise, their Summer 2000 tour has proven to be an incredibly hot ticket, selling out quickly in many of their locations.

Not only are they raking in the cash with their music, but anything and everything the boys touch is valued by their adoring fans. A radio station recently auctioned off a half-eaten piece of one of the boys' french toast online. The winning bid was for over a $1,000.

Is anyone else alarmed that the men of 'N Sync can command four figures for their leftovers?

If my roommate and the millions of other 'N Sync lovers out there are any indication, it's going to be a long time before these boys and their ilk go, "Bye, Bye, Bye"

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