Editor’s note: This article is a humor column.
This football season has been a shock to many Hoo fans — Virginia football is on a seven-game win streak, taking down ACC giants and sustaining a national ranking for the first time in six years. Celebrities like comedian Theo Von have publicly declared their support for the Hoos, which, of course, is what truly cements the University’s place among football’s elite. With newfound success comes rebranding, reflected in recent University changes to Family Weekend 2025.
As the Hoos gear up to take on the Wake Forest Demon Deacons Nov. 8 — by the way, what on earth is a Demon Deacon? I don’t want to hear anything about “What is a Wahoo?” from these fans — the University is rebranding the weekend into a full-blown spectacle to capitalize on this newfound glory. Now, with the Cavaliers riding an ever-so-unprecedented hot streak, all eyes are on Family Weekend 2025 — here’s what to expect.
To begin, tickets for Family Weekend are not for the faint of heart or wallet. Currently, gameday tickets are being sold at average prices of $7,359.49 and VIP seats at $24,245.56 — prices that make tuition look like a bargain. Phil Mywallet, father of third-year College student Cashin Mywallet, shared his troubles getting gameday tickets.
“I usually buy tickets a few days before, but this time I’ve had them booked for almost a month,” Mywallet said. “Then a random email offered me a 'VIP field-storming' ticket upgrade for $300. I’m not dumb, so I told them I’d Zelle it instead since Venmo’s unsafe for big transactions.”
As fans shell out the big bucks to enjoy the Hoos’ new success, the multimillion-dollar Hardie Football Operations Center — complete with personalized jacuzzis, cryotherapy chambers and foosball tables that once risked looking like a massive waste of money — has apparently started to pay off in both football excellence and family-centered programming.
Inspired by Dome Room Dinners, the University is introducing Hardie Football Operations Center Dinners, where they serve the team’s favorite foods — goodbye O-Hill chicken and rice — and replay the final game-winning touchdown and safety against Louisville and Washington State. Replays of the narrow win against North Carolina will be omitted.
Tickets to Nov. 7 Hardie Dinners, held the night before the game, will be given out based on DoorList — meaning interested guests must locate an Alumni Association brother and hope he thinks they’re cool enough to make the list.
These dinners will also feature a special lecture by Coach Tony Elliott, who will recite what he remembers of his halftime speeches from all seven games. Family members can soak in all the drama of the victories, pretend they understand the plays and get a literal taste of football life — complete with Raising Cane’s and Gatorade.
Meanwhile, off of Grounds, bars on the Corner are preparing for a very different kind of gameday crowd this year. In past seasons, customers mostly relied on strong cocktails to numb the pain of watching the Hoos fumble yet another drive. But now that the Cavaliers are actually winning, bartenders are adjusting their recipes for weaker drinks, smaller pours and an increased focus on hydration. Parents and spectators apparently want to watch the game sober, cheer at touchdowns and understand what a real first down feels like — rather than blur it all into a haze.
Ima Spectator, parent to three Hoos and Class of 1998 Commerce alumna, shared her plans for the weekend.
“I always run a solid tailgate. My daughter’s doing Fourth-Year Fifth, so I’m not tagging along. I want to be sober enough to actually make it to the game,” Spectator said. “Honestly, I’m just here to storm the field with the kids and grab a drink after.”
Arguably the most infamous unofficial University tradition, Fourth-Year Fifth celebrates students at the season’s last home football game. During the festivities, fourth-years ceremonially consume “a fifth” of alcohol, a tradition passed down from class to class like a sacred, slightly hazardous relic — somewhat like your grandma’s favorite lead-painted china. Coincidentally, this is happening on Family Weekend, meaning there is a chance fourth-years could make eye contact with their parents at Ellie's while downing Mimosa Buckets.
The University is also offering field-storming clinics for family members trying to be included in pre-game rituals without a drink, ensuring they’re fully prepared when the Hoos finally take the field. By kickoff, family members will be ready to navigate chaos, celebrate touchdowns and hopefully be sober enough to actually experience the game. Because these lessons are in high demand, tickets will be raffled off by Cavman the Wednesday before Family Weekend at 6:07 a.m..
As Family Weekend 2025 approaches, expect high volumes of traffic, chaotic parking and a whirlwind of Wahoo pride. It’s not just about seeing students anymore, it's about embracing the full Cavalier experience — and maybe shotgunning a beer while doing it.
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