(This is the first in a four-part weekly series on dating and relationships at the University.)
At times, college dating can seem like a virtual smorgasbord of tempting options.
Contestant A has sexy blue eyes and a great smile. Contestant B can make you laugh till you cry. Contestant C manages to balance the Commerce School with a starting position on the varsity soccer team.
All of these new faces mean endless opportunities for dating and relationships, but the question remains as to what happens when you finally settle down and make a choice.
Jayne McGowan, second-year College student, has chosen to date around because she views college as a time to meet and experience a lot of different people. She said, "You can't marry the first guy you fall in love with just because he is the first guy you fall in love with."
Third-year College students Moira O'Brien and Isaac Gradman have been together only eight months, but already face issues of the future.
On the other hand, Cassie Kline and Louis Maroquin, first-year college students, were together for two years in high school. In their new environment they must decide whether to continue exclusively or dip their toes in the pond of college freedom.
Each of these individuals offers a unique perception of the ups and downs of dating in college. Here are their stories.
Happily Single
"At this point in my life, I always say that I hope that I don't meet the man I am going to marry in the next six months."
This is because Jayne believes dating a variety of people in college allows students to develop a better idea of what they want from a serious relationship.
This is not to say that McGowan never wants a boyfriend, but she tends to waver back and fourth.
"A lot of times I would like to have someone who I was serious about, but then when I get close to it, I tend to back off. I just have to find the right guy," said McGowan.
So where is the right place to meet Mr. Right? Apparently, there's not a great chance of meeting him at a frat party.
"They are loud and most of the guys who are bold enough to approach you are not looking for something long-term," McGowan said.
Further, the noise and free-for-all atmosphere can lead to misunderstandings and embarrassing situations.
Jane was out with friends at a frat party once when a guy approached her. "I heard him say, 'You have a really nice ass.' I was really offended until he said, 'Yea, they're really blue.' I realized he was talking about my eyes," she remembers.
Fourth-year Commerce student Jason Navon agrees that frat parties leave something to be desired as a romantic setting.
"Unless you know someone from class or a smaller setting, it's unlikely that you're going to meet someone at a band party and make that person your future," he said.
When it comes to approaching guys, McGowan considers herself fairly assertive.
"I am comfortable being the pursuer to a certain extent, but if I am not getting any feedback then I will drop it pretty quickly," she said.
She certainly is not afraid of being alone, though. McGowan believes there is definitely a life after college.
Plus, she asserts "you can tell a lot more about a person when they are out living on their own, like how they deal with the daily pressures of life."
McGowan, self-described as very independent, does not plan on getting married any time soon.
She said, "I want to travel and develop my career and these are things you can do a lot better on your own. I want to learn about myself before I can learn about anyone else."
Friendship and Beyond
"Isaac is my best friend and my boyfriend," Moira said.
Before the relationship began, the couple started out as just good friends. Isaac and Moira lived in the same apartment complex last year and realized how easily they could talk to each other.
"I always thought she liked the southern gentlemen and I'm from California so I am much more laid back than I perceived her type to be," said Isaac.
Once he realized how wrong he was, Isaac decided to ask her out.
"Our first date was really awkward because neither of us knew what the hell was going on," Isaac said.
The line between friendship and dating is extremely difficult to cross. Moira says she thought of him as one of the guys for a long time.
"But the first time he kissed me, I really realized my feelings," she said.
According to Moira, Isaac is a wonderful boyfriend, but to specify would be to undermine his male reputation.
"I think if I told you all of the romantic things he's done for me he would get beat up by his fraternity brothers," she said.
When it comes to issues of jealousy and temptation, both parties agree that they have no problems, and attribute this to their mutual trust. So what do they fight about then?
"Stupid things, most of the time," Isaac said.
Moira agreed they actually get along so well that most of their fights are pathetic.
"I remember a fight about a jar of spaghetti sauce that lasted for four hours-we weren't speaking by the end of it," she said.
These may be stupid fights, but soon become important in the future.
"This has been a source of argument lately, she likes to talk about it a lot more than I do," Isaac said.
According to Moira, when she says she wants the future to be open, he hears "I want to marry you." But this can be a fairly typical male-female difference in thinking.
Fourth-year college student, Farzad Arefzaden, believes we have the rest of our lives for such serious commitments. "When a girl starts talking about marriage, that's when I know its time to call it quits," Arefzaden said.
But for Moira and Isaac things are less extreme.
Isaac admits it just kind of scared him to think about the future, but he finally realized he didn't want to rule anything out.
When it comes to favorite pastimes, both Isaac and Moira seem to enjoy the simple moments.
"His roommates are some of my best friends so the mutually favorite activity is just hanging out with the guys," Moira said.
The couple often goes out to dinner, but particularly values their Sunday morning trips for fast food.
"I love it that she can go out for fast food and not have to go somewhere nice every time. We've had some of our best conversations over hamburgers at Arby's," Isaac said.
Some things will never change
"We dated all through high school, but we never thought we would stay together in college," said Cassie of her boyfriend Louis.
In fact, Cassie said the couple initially wanted to go to different schools so they could experience other relationships.
But both Cassie and Louis wound up at the University and decided to stay together.
"We have actually become closer since we came to the University," Louis said.
Still, for many, staying together seemed like a dangerous choice. Cassie remembers many of her friends telling her that she wouldn't get the full college experience if she had a serious boyfriend.
"Even my mom kept asking me 'what's going to happen when you go to school and meet lots of other people?'" Cassie said.
Though they both wanted to give the relationship a go, the couple didn't make any promises.
Instead they decided to give each other a lot of room to grow.
"We came with the understanding that if we meet other people then so be it," Louis said.
The couple's goal was to remain as open as possible so as to not limit their experience.
"It was nice to make new guy friends, but I wasn't attracted to them and after a few weeks, I realized that I still wanted to be with Louis," said Cassie.
But making friends of the opposite sex proved troublesome at times. She found herself having problems making guy friends that she hadn't anticipated.
Cassie said, "a lot of boys wouldn't talk to me after finding out that I had a boyfriend."
For Louis, befriending girls was less of an issue.
"I really don't like girls that much, so I am not bothered by it," he said.
So what is the future for these high school sweethearts?
Only time will tell, but it is obvious they have the spark that allows for such a transition.
"It's not like we ever reached a plateau. Everyday it's like 'Yay, I get to see Louis,'" said Cassie.
As all of these students have attested, whether one is single, in the throes of a new relationship or has been together with the same person for a long period of time, dating can, at times, be a true test of character.
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