If you're over the age of 40, this column might infuriate you. It might make you want to rise up out of your seat and yell. It might make you attempt to drown out my voice with waves and waves of noise.
If that's what this column does, then good. It has accomplished its goal.
Let's put it all out on the table. We're all friends here and the truth, while it might be painful, should be told: There are two types of fans at basketball games these days and one of them isn't pulling their weight.
Exhibit A: Saturday, noon, outside of U-hall. While obtaining a voucher to get into the Wake Forest game, I am told that I'm the 165th person in line. By 6 p.m., two hours before game time, the line numbers well over 1,000. By 6:30, the student section is more or less full.
Exhibit B: Saturday, 7:55 p.m., inside of U-hall. Player introductions are imminent. Tip-off will follow. The season-ticket section is slowly filling.
Don't worry, this column will not turn into another tirade on whether students should have priority seating. That war is for some other day. My war begins now.
Wine and cheese. You've heard it before to describe our football fans. For six or seven Saturdays a year in Charlottesville, gratuitous displays of southern gentility take the stage. The bow ties and orange pants are taken off the hangers and donned in the ultimate fashion statement. The bourbon flows like wine. And, oh yes, a football game takes place.
For basketball, the over-40 crowd takes roughly the same approach. Sure, the pants stay on the hanger and the bourbon stays at home (as far as U-Hall officials know), but the season-ticket holders cheer the same way they do during a football game: a smile for a play well done and a light clapping to show that they approve.
That's just lame.
This is basketball. Look into the eye of a basketball fan and you'll see something different: a subtle glimmer. Some call it enthusiasm; some call it fervor. The French call it je ne sais quoi. Call it what you will; it's there. It makes college basketball fans sleep in tents for tickets. It makes them wear basketballs on their heads or spell out "Hoos your Daddy" in orange and navy on their chests. It's something that I see festering within the students. It's something that the older fans in attendance need to feel.
Now, I'm not asking for much here. I don't expect to see octogenarians shirtless with neon orange afros. But there are a few areas that need improvement.
1. Punctuality is key
It's a little known fact that the game doesn't start at tip-off. But if you can't get there for the half-hour buildup before the game's start, at least make it on time. There's nothing more disheartening than seeing the entire student section full of standing and cheering fans, only to find that there are 200 empty season-ticket seats. What's the holdup? It's not like there's a tailgate to attend.
2. For the love of God, cheer!
Stand up, be loud, clap, scream. Make U-Hall the hardest place to play in the conference. The students are managing. Hold up your end of the bargain.
3. See it through
Perhaps our most dubious tradition is the pilgrimage to the parking lot from the season ticket holders' section with three minutes left in the game, often when the game's outcome is still in doubt. Even if it's obvious that we're about to win or lose, stick around. Applaud the team's effort. The players are leaving their hearts out on the court. You're simply leaving.
So there, I've said it. For the most part, the basketball season-ticket holders are bad fans. What's that? You're going to prove me wrong?
I look forward to it.
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