COLLEGE students think about it night and day. Our search is relentless. We scurry around looking between every crevice and under every nook and cranny. Even as we move along with breakups in our memory, we don't seem to care. We stubbornly continue to search for our future husbands and wives. Many of us envision college as the ideal place to nab our future spouses. But the truth is, all those attempts aren't just futile - they're needless.
As Americans marry later, many face the reality that they won't be finding their mates in college. According to Sociology Prof. Steven Nock, who specifically studies marriage, the search likely will not end until students graduate and enter the workforce.
As the typical age of marriage increases, the period of time in which Americans court their spouses is delayed until after college. Following that trend suggests students will not stick around with their college beaus. A college couple would need to date for an unusually long amount of time - beyond what is common and accepted, Nock said.
Take two average Americans who follow the typical course of events to obtain a spouse. They get to know each other and date. Following courtship, the average American woman now marries at 24 years of age while men marry at 27. If college students, at an average age of 20, were to follow the current standard, men would have to date an astounding seven years before even considering a walk down the aisle.
Even if college couples continued to date after graduation, the chances of them staying together grow slimmer once they step into the real world. Often students must live apart, forced to relocate for graduate school or to start a job. Nock said that even regular 9-to-5 jobs offer little comfort for the college couple. Many employers take advantage of new employees - recent college graduates are the ones taking business trips or relocating for their companies.
Yet, given these odds, students will still undoubtedly seek romance and try to win over Mr. or Ms. Right. It's irrational and almost a waste of time, so it's needless to even try. But why do we still?
Parental pressure often gives legitimacy to the idea of courting in college. If our parents tell us to look for someone, it reinforces and adds credence to our own desires. But there is good reason we should think twice before listening to this advice. Our parents came from a generation when it was typical for couples to meet and marry in the four-year span of college. Women also did not make up a majority of students in higher education, as they do now. So just as it used to be sensible for a girl to marry after finishing high school, it is practical now for couples to wait until after college or a professional program to tie the knot today.
Another reason college students may feel compelled to be on the lookout is the sheer number of people they encounter holding hands and in solid relationships now. Surely these relationships will last, observers think.
There's a chance they will. An article in Texas Christian University's newspaper, The Daily Skiff, said that a number of their students are enjoying their academic lives after meeting and marrying their spouses, whom they met in college. The couples mentioned in the article agreed that it was advantageous, at least for them, to search for a mate in college.
So marrying a college sweetheart isn't out of the question. Still, the article reported that only one in 13 of their university's students are in this category ("Early marriage has advantages, despite odds, students say," Dec. 12, 1999).
Getting married while in the midst of college remains unpopular. A study done in 1995 by the Higher Education Research Institute asked full-time college females if they felt their chances were good that they would marry in college. Less than 7 percent agreed. The rest of us know, finding a husband can wait.
It makes sense - students ought to stay away from courtship until they're ready to commit. Otherwise students put themselves in jeopardy of failing to accomplish their career goals. If people remain unattached until they're in their mid to late 20s - after they have finished school and settled down in a steady career - it only benefits them. Thus, it reduces the idea of dating in college from a serious mission to nothing more than a source of entertainment.
This isn't to say that nobody should date in college, or that spouses are impossible to find. On the contrary, college is still a great place to discover what kinds of people to look for, and what types to steer clear of. It's also the best place to experience life as a single person with no strings attached, while we still can.
But to those either considering or currently in a college relationship - you may be in for a long haul.
(Juliana Chan is a Cavalier Daily viewpoint writer.)
Read More
IYER: Sports stadiums should sport more benefit to Virginia residents
By Arjun Iyer | YesterdayPast stadiums in other states show that Virginia has the potential to succeed at such a construction project, provided that proper measures are undertaken.
KURTZWEIL: True financial aid must be transparent
By Paul Kurtzweil | 6 days agoThe implications and revelations of the lawsuit should inspire greater transparency at the University in order to ensure that financial aid is properly and equitably distributed.
SULLIVAN: Ramp up physical accessibility on Grounds
By Scarlett Sullivan | April 27, 2024The University must take responsibility for the inaccessibility of Grounds and work to promote accessibility for all students despite misguided laws.
