What's the Time Mr. Wolf? is the first full-length album by the U.K.'s Noisettes. Released in February on the far side of the Atlantic, the LP hit U.S. stores April 17 with less fanfare than their label Motown Records might have liked. After all, Noisettes garnered all kinds of critical acclaim in the British music press this winter. But, much like last year's media darlings, The Arctic Monkeys (another Brit buzz band du jour) Noisettes' actual contribution to the music world is questionable -- perhaps comparable to the tailor of the "Emperor's New Clothes'" contribution to the fashion world.
Not to say that the Noisettes' sound is bare or the production is stripped down by any means. Depending on what mood one is in (read: generous) the album can come off like a dolled-up soundtrack of a musical made by an intensely passionate cast of three people posing as rock stars -- think some kind of post-punk Broadway concoction evoking "Fame" but without the endearing storyline or witty lyrics. One's first urge when listening to the record is to make comparisons because most of the songs sound like caricatures of other rock songs.
For example, the lead-off track, "Don't Give Up," sounds like a bad version K.T. Tunstall's "Black Horse and the Cherry Tree." Also, hearing the banal refrain "don't give up" about a million times in the course of two minutes is not going to avail a pessimist soul.
Throughout the album, the lyrics are equally inspired. Just in case you didn't get the message of undying hope in the first track, track three, "Scratch Your Name," has got you covered with its repeated offering of this lyrical gem: "scratch your name into the fabric of this world before you go!"
After listening to this track, one might say "OK! I'm not giving up, but I can't seem to break out of this rut I'm in, so how am I supposed to 'scratch my name into this world?' Help me Noisettes!"
Not to fear, just skip to track nine, titled "Cannot Even (Break Free)." Bassist and lead singer Shingai Shoniwa will offer encouragement: "Why don't you / break free, break free / I want you to break free / break free break free." And commiseration: "You cannot even speak / think everybody thinks you're a freak ... and you wish you could be / on a magic carpet / yes you wish you could be / ever so transported from here, from here."
Thanks Noisettes! You really saved us all from an existential crisis.
As the release progresses, it becomes increasingly clear that clichéd optimism is only matched in dominance by the screechy whining of Shoniwa and obnoxious power chords.
Maybe the juvenile naiveté is fitting given "what's the time Mr. Wolf?" is the U.K.'s name for the children's game Americans know as "red light, green light." The title is also appropriate given the choppy, stop-and-go quality of many of the songs.
"Mind the Gap" begins with a subtle instrumental backing and is mildly listenable -- that is, until the death-metal ax-slashing comes in with some creepy tra-la-las and "Bohemian Rhapsody"-esque harmonies. The end is some kind of abrasive punk/"Sound of Music" fusion that's about as appealing as ketchup on an ice cream sundae. Maybe it's an acquired taste. I mean, people put ketchup on everything, right?
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