The Cavalier Daily
Serving the University Community Since 1890

Pink Flamingos

It’s awards season in Hollywood, but the real honors are handed out below

As the 119th Managing Board’s term nears its end, it is time to continue The Cavalier Daily’s semiannual tradition of recognizing those individuals and groups who have made our newspaper worth reading over the past semester with our “Pink Flamingo” awards.

The “Loose Lips Sink Ships” Award goes to Jess Huang, who has kept tight control over information coming out of the Honor Committee. She recently met with faculty on board Semester at Sea to “educate” them about the honor system. We hope she told them the Honor Committee may deny Semester at Sea students their right to a student jury.

The “Lunch Pail” Award goes to the athletic department, whose efforts to convert the University’s athletic programs into a clone of Virginia Tech’s intensified this year with a ban on signs at athletic events. Add that strict control over student expression to the “Sea of Orange,” the marching band and the lack of a halftime tailgate “pass out” and the only thing the Hokies had this year that the University didn’t was a winning football team.

The “Sound and Fury” Award goes to the University Unity Project, which despite Student Council’s numerous press releases and unveiling ceremonies ended up affecting most students’ lives very little. Perhaps it would have had more success unifying students if it took some cues from the Athletic Affairs Committee’s protests this fall.

The “I’m Sorry, You’re Not on the List” Award goes to Dean of Students Allen Groves for requiring wristbands for tailgaters on the Lawn, as if the Lawn weren’t elitist enough without the bouncers.

The “Glory of the U.Va.” Award is shared by the women’s soccer, swimming, men’s and women’s tennis, field hockey, and women’s basketball teams, all of whom once again have far outperformed some of the more publicized sports.

The “Spay and Neuter” Award goes to Bob Barker, who donated $1 million to the Law School to establish an animal law program. Apparently, the University’s bid for the program was closest without going over.

The “Evel Knievel” Award goes to the daredevil UTS bus driver our photographers captured in action dodging a flaming manhole on McCormick Road. Before seeing this photo, we thought the biggest danger UTS drivers faced was from drunk passengers who didn’t like their music.

The “Economic Stimulus” Award goes to Toni Munch, Ann Schare, Bonnie Ford, Jennifer Bonenfant and Melissa Gormes, who have helped keep The Cavalier Daily’s books in order while we wait for our government bailout.

And finally, the “Straitjacket” Award goes to the 119th staff of The Cavalier Daily, who must be crazy to have worked as hard as they did. We are fortunate to work with some of the best the University has to offer, and we will sincerely miss seeing them every day.

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