Every Tuesday evening, I meet up with two of my closest friends to prepare dinner and catch up on our lives. A tradition that started almost two years ago, the Tuesday routine has come to occupy a sacred place in the structure of our week - a moment removed from the busy ebb and flow of daily life at the University that we look forward to with great anticipation.
The meal itself merits excitement: It is always carefully planned, based on long e-mail chains among the three of us involving links to recipes, discussions about what we are craving and plans as to who will buy what. Sometimes the only night of the week when our meals do not involve the microwave or something that comes pre-made in a cardboard box, we savor the chance to linger when preparing this rare quality dinner. The chopping and slicing of ingredients is therapeutic, and the aromas that waft from our roasting vegetables or citrus pan sauces help lift our spirits and remove the stress of the day.
More than the food, however, it is the company that I most enjoy. My Tuesday night companions and I met during our first year at the University, and our friendship has grown and deepened since then in a way I do not think we could have predicted. The awkwardness of just starting college, of being pushed together by random events and mutual acquaintances, has faded to be replaced by bonds of genuine love. The three of us are nearly as close as sisters, and Tuesday nights are filled with the same girlish giggles that filled my home growing up in a family of three girls.
Nothing is off-limits when it comes to Tuesday night conversation. Stress, fears, anxiety, triumphs, embarrassments - everything is shared, and we are always better for it. Sometimes we discuss the heavy issues - real struggles we are facing, sorrows we've suffered - but more often than not, it's just the stuff that makes up the day, what Virginia Woolf called the "cotton wool of daily life." We talk about schoolwork, problems with our roommates and the ups and downs of relationships. We moan about our busy schedules, our messy apartments and our uncertain futures. We celebrate each other's successes, share stories of little daily pleasures and try to acknowledge things we often take for granted.
After dinner, we do the dishes together, transforming the usually tedious task into something enjoyable simply by virtue of the pleasure we derive from each other's presence. When every dish is dried and put into its rightful place - part of our deep bond may stem from the fact that each of us is a neat freak who insists on total organization - we settle down to give each other neck massages, extending the night's stress relief to our aching muscles as well.
Already, I have started to lament the rapidly approaching end of this weekly tradition. After May 23, our three lives are going to change drastically, and Tuesday night meals will no longer be an option for us. Next year, one of us will be attending graduate school in Boston or Nashville, one of us will be working in New York or D.C., and one of us will be married in June, moving on to a new kind of family dinner and weekly routine. We have attempted to come up with ways to keep our weekly indulgence/support group together even as our lives take us down our separate roads - post-graduation three-way phone calls while doing laundry, reunions in Charlottesville when we can find a weekend that works for everyone. But I know that it will not be the same. And although I am sure new traditions will start up in each of our lives, as we find new friends and settle into life in the real world, I still find myself preparing to mourn the loss of something wonderful.
In the end, this has been the greatest thing about being at the University: Along with a fabulous education, I have found friends who have given my four years here a texture and richness that I never could have created on my own. The friendships I have formed will stay with me long after memories of grades on my transcript have faded, and the relationships that have solidified through the delicious meals and joyful atmosphere of my Tuesday night routine will remain with me forever.
So, although our lives might take us different directions after graduation, I know my friends and I will remain close for years to come. Our biggest concern, it turns out, is really not whether we will be able to maintain the bonds we have formed here, but whether we will be able to find someone wherever we end up next year who can provide an adequate neck massage.
Keely's column runs biweekly Mondays. She can be reached at k.latcham@cavalierdaily.com.
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