You know those graphic T-shirts that used to be popular, the ones saying things such as "sweet girl", or "brat?" Well, I have a confession to make: If I was the type of person inclined to wear stupid articles of clothing declaring facets of my personality, I would have to get the one that said "a little bit dramatic."
This has been true ever since birth. My mom loves to tell me how, unlike my sister who just smiled quietly when she was born, I came into the world screaming for all I was worth. This basically set the tone for the rest of my life.
I'm not saying I have spent the last 20 years walking around screaming, but I do think it would be fair to say I always have had a loud personality. What I mean is my personality has always been very forceful. It makes a statement.
Sometimes this is a good thing. My readiness to always speak up and never take "no" for an answer comes in handy a lot. When there's a problem with my apartment, I don't hesitate to call and make sure our landlords hold up their contractual obligations. In fact, if there is any instance when I think someone is not treating me or my friends appropriately, I am quick to let them know. This is a helpful trait because it means I am rarely taken advantage of, and when something needs to be done, I just do it.
But sometimes this is a bad thing. I know I walk a fine line between speaking up and being bossy, and the trouble with not taking "no" for answer is it often leads to frustration on my part. No matter how much I would like people to do what I always want them to, that's just not how life works.
I always have had to work to find the balance between being strong-willed and just plain old pigheaded, but this has become especially important during the past year. I'm entering the part of college where I have more serious responsibilities and have to start thinking about the big G word ... graduation, yikes!
As much as I want to, I can't use my death glare to get people to do things anymore. True, it is pretty chilling, and highly effective at making small children finish their peas, but my stony gaze is usually frowned upon in professional settings.
Now that I have new leadership roles to take on and have to think about applying to jobs, I have to figure out what exactly is the right decibel level for my personality.
I can't turn it down all the way. Taking charge is still a very valuable skill to have. I know no matter what I do, I will never be able to keep my big mouth shut all the time.
After all, my big mouth and I have, so far, had a long and happy life together. I just realize now it's not appropriate to take it wherever I go. It can still come to a lot of places: my apartment, parties and the occasional disgruntled phone call to the electric company. But I'm going to have to start flying solo at job interviews (meaning I'll be without my dear death glare) and at those times when calm persuasion is more effective than shouting - even though the latter always seems more satisfying.
I have to learn to keep my loud personality in check more; that's part of growing up. Still, I'll never be able to get rid of loud Katie all the way, and I don't want to. After all, where's the fun in life if you can't be a little bit dramatic?
Katie's column runs weekly Tuesdays. She can be reached at k.mcnally@cavalierdaily.com.
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